We're Saved! Vol 1 & 2
by Romen
Summary: Vol. 2: Sayid finds more than he bargained for as the three men of Kate’s heart compete for her affections. Plus: Boone lives on! Discontinued due to the fact that the creators of Lost have gone insane.
1. Kill Boone!

Hey everyone! This is my first fan-fic for "Lost" (actually, it is my first fan-fic period), so I would appreciate your reviews. You also may notice that the characters' personalities are different, so I have to tell you something: get over it. This is just supposed to be funny. So please enjoy-Yours truly, Romen

_Previously:_

_Shannon put the small receiver to her ear. "It's saying... 'Hey man, you are all about to die. Get the heck out of here. So beat it, beat it, just beat it, beat it, before you run into this thriller in the night."_

_Michael found out about Sun's English speaking skills, though everyone else is kept in the dark._

_Jack and Sawyer began to argue over Kate's affection._

**Kill Boone!**

"Kate loves me!" Jack cried, his face reddening. Kate put her hands over her ears and started crying.

"You're wrong, Jack; the girl loves me." Sawyer smiled cockily. "Isn't that right, Kate?"

"You're nuts!" Jack snapped. "She loves _me_!" He turned to look at the brunette. "Isn't that right, Kate?"

Kate sighed, her face revealing how distraught she truly was. The whole jungle seemed silent, anticipating her answer.

"Actually," Kate began slowly, wiping away her tears, "I don't love either of you."

Jack and Sawyer looked at each other, and then turned back to Kate.

"You don't love either of us?" they said in unison.

Kate sighed again. "Boone, you can come out now."

Boone stepped out from behind a tree and put his arm around Kate's waist.

"Boone and I have just recently admitted our true feelings for each other," Kate said, leaning her head on Boone's shoulders. "We both agreed that we can't keep fooling ourselves any longer."

At that moment, Sayid came by. He examined Kate and Boone's position. "What's going on here?" he asked.

"Kate and I love each other," Boone said confidently. "We just informed Jack and Sawyer."

"I tattooed your name onto my arm!" Sawyer cried in frustration. "It was really painful, since I was using a dirty needle and ink from a pen!"

"And I sewed a leaves onto all of my shirts with your name written on them in permanent marker," Jack said sadly. "Are you telling me that I did all of this for nothing when your affections lied with **_that_**!"

"You can't sway me from my decision," Kate replied, looking at Boone with a slight smile on her lips. "Come with me, my darling. We need to spend some time alone."

Sayid gagged as they walked away together.

"I hate him," Sawyer muttered. "I think that it's time that someone taught that little whelp a lesson."

"I totally agree with you, but what do you propose we do?" Sayid crossed his arms, a bemused look crossing his face. "Out here, in the jungle, with no possible means of finding the correct tools..."

"You don't need tools to humiliate someone and beat the crap out of them," Sawyer snapped. "What about you, Doc? Are you going to join us?"

"Yes." Jack's voice was terse. "But we're not just going to humiliate him: we're going to kill him!"

The three decided to go to Locke with their problem, knowing that he knew everything and would be able to help them kill Boone. The old (yet young) man sat on a rock in the middle of a clearing, his eyes closed, his breathing even. A look of peace and serenity was on his face.

"Hey, are you awake?" Sawyer asked, flicking Locke on the back of his head. "We need some help."

Locke opened his eyes suddenly. "I was meditating."

"Meditating, sleeping, they're the same thing." The red neck smirked. "We need your help."

Locke observed that Sawyer, Jack, and Sayid were there, and he suddenly realized that it must be important if these three had joined forces. He stood up and grabbed his knife, wondering what had happened.

"What do you need help with?" he asked, as Sun and Jin passed by and sat down together. They were tired, for Jin had been fishing all day and Sun had been doing...uh...whatever she does all day, which was really tiring work.

"We're going to kill Boone," Sayid said simply. Locke cocked one eyebrow higher than the other.

"And how are you doing to do that?"

"Well, that's where you come in." Jack looked Locke straight in the eyes. The hunter's face wore a disturbed and confused expression.

"Why do you want to kill Boone?" he asked.

Sawyer shrugged. "Let's just say that it's a conflict of interests."

"_What do you think is going on_?" Jin asked his wife in Korean. She pulled out her Korean-English, English-Korean dictionary.

"_Since I don't know English, I'm not really sure, but it appears as if Jack, Sawyer, and Sayid are asking Locke to help them kill Boone! But as I said, I don't know English._"

"_I wonder why they would want to do that! I have to admit, sometimes I have wondered if I should do the same thing, but..._"

"_I think that it's a conflict of interests. But, then again, I don't know English._"

Locke glanced at them all, a mischievous look coming across his face. "Very well then. I think that I can help you." He began to walk farther into the jungle. He turned around to look at them, that same smiled on his freaky face. "Come on."

The three looked at him, then obediently followed.

They walked for several hours, each of them obediently following Locke, who hadn't said anything since they had left the clearing. None of them had tried to create conversation.

Suddenly, Locke stopped. The other's dug their heals into the ground to avoid knocking into each other.

"Look at the beautiful bird behind you!" Locke cried.

They all turned, searching the trees for a bird, when they heard a loud thwack as something hit them on the back of their heads. Darkness took them...


	2. Shannon Goes Fishing for a man

**Shannon Goes Fishing (for a man)**

Shannon sat, her elbows on her knees, her lower lip pushed out in a pout. She looked up as Boone walked over. He was carrying a large basket and was returning from the jungle.

"It's about time that you got back with food!" Shannon snapped. "I almost starved to death!"

"This food isn't for you!" Boon cried, pulling the basket back defensively. "This is for Kate."

Shannon paused. "The food is for...Kate?"

Boone sat the basket down. "Oh. So...no one's told you."

Boone was such a freak. "What are you talking about, idiot?"

"Well, Princess, I'm not providing for you anymore."

Shannon laughed an evil, manic, cackle. It sounded just like the evil queen on Snow White (by the way, that was Shannon's favorite character, and she had dressed up like her for every Halloween). "You're not very funny you know."

"I'm serious, Shannon."

Shannon stopped laughing and glared at him. "You can't do that."

"I can, and I am."

Shannon hesitated. "You're my servant. You have to do whatever I tell you, or I'll tell everyone about our one-night-stand!"

Boone shrugged. "Tell them, for all I care." He picked up the basket. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to Kate."

Shannon grabbed his shoulders. "Wait, just before you go...I have to know one thing."

Boone turned around and looked his teary sister in the face. "Okay, what do you want to know?"

"Why Kate?" she asked, her voice thick. "Why...Kate?"

Boone shrugged. "I realized that I didn't really have any feeling for you after my drug induced vision quest. Kate and I have confessed our undying love for each other. We're going on a picnic today, and I offered to gather the food. I have to meet her soon, or I'll be late." He plucked her hands from his shoulders. "You might want to think about gathering food."

"Why!" Shannon cried. "You gather the food for us!"

Boone sighed. "Shannon, there isn't any 'us' anymore. I'm moving in with Kate."

And with that, he walked off, leaving Shannon utterly alone and depressed.

Well, he could stay with that nasty little wench for all she cared! She would take care of herself!

Shannon was going to fish for her food; she was going to fish for a man.

Shannon rummaged through her suitcase until she found what she wanted: a notebook and a pencil. She flipped to a clean page (most of them were filled with sentiments like I am Queen of the World, I Love Me, Boone Sucks, etc.) Immediately, she began to list all of the eligible bachelors on the island. Soon, her list looked somewhat like this:

Jack (total hottie, though he looks sort of like a mouse)

Sawyer (he has everything; I'd never go hungry or be without)

Locke (he's too old, but he is eligible, so I can't exclude him)

Charlie (he's shorter than me)

Sayid (he was too quiet, and he was always sweating)

And - God forbid - Hurley

Michael (has a kid...blech!)

Shannon looked over her list and smiled. She stood up and walked towards the beach, knowing that everyone else would be there.

The only people (men, preferably) that she could see were Charlie and Hurley. She frowned.

"Do any of you know where Jack, Sayid, and Sawyer are?" she asked coolly.

Charlie shook his head. "They went into the jungle some time ago. Why?"

Shannon sighed and clutched her notebook next to her heart. "Boone has left me for Kate, and I am searching for another man who kind provide and take care of me."

Charlie smiled. "I'm single, you know."

"Trust me, I know." Shannon glanced hastily at her list. "So tell me: Why do you think that you should be my provider?"

Charlie stood up, trying to look as macho as possible. "I'm quite a warrior, and strong, and, if I do say myself, quite attractive."

Shannon thought that Charlie looked shorter than usual. "You're too short." She threw her hands up in the air and looked towards the heavens. "I will never find a provider now that Sayid, Sawyer, and Jack are missing!"

"I'm single," Hurley pointed out.

Shannon wrinkled her nose. "You're too fat. Why do you think that you should be my provider?"

"I don't want to. I was just saying that beggars can't be choosers, man." Hurley frowned. "Besides, beauty is only skin deep; it's in your heart and soul that really counts."

"I'm never a beggar: I'm always a chooser!" Shannon said defiantly, thrusting her chin out and ignoring that last remark. "I will find someone who will hunt and fish..."

Shannon paused. FISH. Yes. Why hadn't she thought of him before? She glanced down at her list.

Well, he wasn't EXACTLY single, but he was still an option, right?

Shannon smiled deviously as she left the others standing at the beach


	3. Working Together

Thanks for your reviews, they are a joy to read. This chapter is a bit shorter than the last one, but I hope that you enjoy it all the same.

Romen

**Best Friends**

Jack slowly opened his eyes. His head hurt, and something hard was behind his back. He suddenly remembered the hit on the back of his head. He looked down. He was on his knees, and something was under his arms. He moved his eyes slightly to the right, and realized that it was...(duh-duh-duh)...Sawyer's head. Sayid was tied up behind them. By the way, they were tied to a tree.

Jack looked up. He saw Locke stirring some kind of mixture in a hallowed up coconut.

"What's that?" Sawyer asked, before Jack got the chance.

"It's for your wounds. An untreated wound would be dangerous to have out here in the jungle." And with that said, he put the green, sinister-looking substance on the back of their heads.

"That stings..." Sayid mumbled.

"Shut-up," Sawyer interrupted. "Why did you tie us up, Pops?"

"All three of you have things that you need to sort out before you can successfully murder Boone," Locke replied. "This is just the way."

"Hey, I have a better idea," the Red-neck continued. "Why don't you untie us, so that I can kick your?"

Locke didn't reply. He was putting his knife back into its 'scabbard' on his belt. "You'll be able to escape once you have the proper motivation." He turned around and began to walk away.

"No, no, no!" Sayid cried desperately, trying to flail (which was hard, because his arms were pulled straight up). "Sawyer was lying, he didn't mean it!"

"I meant every word I said. I would like to shove his..."

"No, no!" Sayid interrupted quickly. "PLEASE! HELP! HELP! HEEEEEEELLLLLP!"

"Get a hold of yourself!" Jack shouted, and he head-butted Sayid in compensation for not being able to slap him.

"Thanks, I needed that," Sayid wheezed (Jack's head had knocked the air out of him).

"Let's concentrate on how to get out of here," Jack continued, observing the confusing way the rope wound around him.

"Oh, you always know exactly what to do, don't you?" Sawyer snarled. "You always have the ideas..."

"What else are we supposed to be doing, Sawyer?" Jack said calmly, the annoyance he felt only a slight hint in his voice. "We're tied up; the natural thing to do would be to try and get untied."

"Oh, you always know what the natural thing to do is, don't you?" Sawyer growled. "Well, you're a doctor, not a psychiatrist..."

"He's right, you know." Sayid was now more level headed after his rude/painful awakening.

"Oh, shut-up, Pig Pen," Sawyer snapped. "Haven't you ever heard of deodorant?"

Sayid tried to pull his arms down hastily.

Jack looked at a large knot by Sawyer's head. He could hear Sayid and Sawyer continuing to argue. "Hey, Sawyer, can you untie that knot with your teeth?"

At that moment, a loud, familiar sound came behind them.

It was the sound of that blasted monster!


	4. Dream Date

This is by far my favorite chapter. I hope that you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. The responses to your reviews are at the end.

-Romen

**Dream Dates**

Kate stroked the metal Haliburton suitcase on her lap. She drummed on it with her fingers. Her love was waiting so long to come...

At that moment, Boone appeared from behind a tree with the picnic basket. His face was red from the effort of carrying it.

"It took you so long," Kate said, trying to hide the annoyance in her voice.

It really didn't matter; Boone was totally ignorant. "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, pun'kin." He set down the basket and stretched his arms.

Kate went through the picnic basket, making sure he'd brought everything. "Boar meat, some papaya, a few mangos..." She frowned. "Boone, you're missing something to drink."

"Oops; I must have forgotten!" He shrugged. "Do you want me to go get something?"

"No, no, it's okay." Kate sighed. "We can stop at the caves and get some water on our way back to the beach."

Boone sat down and began filling his paper plate. "Hey, what's that?" he asked suddenly reaching out to touch Kate's suitcase.

In a flash, Kate reached out her hand and slapped Boone on the wrist, he recoiled, sniffling, and soon, he burst into tears.

"That hurt!" he sobbed, rubbing his wrist.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry!" She looked at his wrist and could see three red marks where she had hit him. "Here, let me put my water..." That was when she realized they have nothing cold to put on his 'wound.' "Oh baby, please forgive me!" She took his wrist and started kissing it, marks from her bright pink lipstick remaining on his wrist.

"Come on, Jin, darling!" a shrill and familiar voice called. Boone and Kate turned around in horror.

It was...SHANNON! And she was with Jin!

"Should we leave?" Boone hissed.

"No, we're not leaving," Kate said loud enough for both Shannon and Jin to hear if they were all the way back at the beach. "We were here first, and we're going to have to have the rest of the picnic."

Shannon (who was holding on to Jin's arm with the grip of death) and Jin sat down about five feet away from Kate and Boone. They were sitting on a classic red and white checkered sheet, and Boone could smell the scent of freshly cooked fish.

"Oh Jin, you're soooooo romantic!" Shannon said, looking at her half-brother and that nasty girl...Kate.

"Moruget ssumnida," Jin said, shrugging. "Annyonghi kashipsio." He tried to walk away, but like I said, Shannon had the Grip of Death, and it's hard to get away from the Grip of Death anyway, but Shannon's was the worst. Her nails dug deep into your skin, so you were literally attached to her. Boone had often wondered if she used superglue as well...

"Here, have this fish," Shannon said, stroking Jin's cheek.

"Oh, Boone, you are so sweet!" Kate cried, grabbing Boone by the cheek and pinching up some skin. She began shaking his head back and forth. "You aw de cudest wittle ting!"

"That hurts!" Boone snapped, pushing her hand away. He wondered if this was Kate's Grip of Death.

"Shut-up!" Kate hissed, slapping Boone on the back of the head.

"Well, Jin and I carved our name into a tree!" Shannon called. "Right, Jin?"

He held his fish out to her. "Wonhashimnikka?"

"Wow, thanks! A fish!" She looked at Boone and Kate. "In Korea, that is a sign of true love. If you go on a picnic, and your true love gives you a fish!"

"That's not true," Kate grumbled. "I know enough about Korea to know THAT..."

"I bet you don't know how to say 'I love you' in Korean," Shannon said haughtily. She had heard some Korean on a TV show once, and she remembered what she'd heard. She was positive that's what it meant, because the two had kissed right afterwards. "Munorul tushigessumnikka."

Jin started choking. "Muno? Wonch'i anssumnida. Anio, choahaji an-ssumnida; muno."

"He loves me back!" Shannon cried. "Oh, Jinny..."

"Jinny is a girl's name," Boone pointed out. "Besides, I know what _muno _means; octopus."

"Maybe it has a double meaning," Kate said, "just like hit and read." Kate suddenly realized what she'd said. "No, I mean; Shannon, you're getting ridiculous. Boone doesn't love you anymore. We're already engaged," she lied, quickly rapping a blade of grass around her finger. She held it up. "See?"

Shannon held up Jin's hand. "See this? It's his engagement ring; to me! Besides, I don't love Boone anymore; I love Jin."

Jin shrugged. "Choayo."

"That's his wedding ring, you fool!" Boone and Kate cried.

"Wedding ring!" Shannon turned to look at him. "Why didn't you tell me that you were already married?"

Jin held up a hand in front of his mouth. "Jamkkanman kidaryeo jushipshio." He finished chewing. "Onul supkiga maeu nopssumnida. Kapshida." He began to stand up, but Shannon pulled him down.

"It doesn't matter to me!" Shannon cried, pulling him back down. "I've been with hundreds of married men before, and we still had a happy relationship together. This will be another one of these times."

Jin looked at Boone and Kate, a desperate look on his face. "Narul towa chushipsio."

At that moment, Sun walked in on the bickering couples. Her jaw dropped! "_Jin, what are you doing_?" she cried.

"_This crazy girl will not let me go, she has a Grip of Death on me, and she has mixed octopus with the fish. Surprisingly, it tastes pretty close to the same. Also, she seems to think that we have had some kind of relationship in the past._"

Sun glared at Jin. "_She doesn't think that you've had some relationship in the past: she thinks that you're having a relationship NOW!_"

Jin nodded, considering this. "_That makes sense, but how do you know?_"

"_You don't have to know English to know what's going on through her head. I can't believe you! I'm going to go find Michael!_"

"_You are going to leave me here with this crazy girl, and run to the American man and his disobedient child with the big lips?_"

Sun didn't answer. Instead, she just stormed off.

Meanwhile, back in the jungle...

Imzadi: Yes, Locke does have a twisted mind (throws head back and laughs manically). You'll just have to wait and see what he's up to...buwahaha

Pink Pinker: Sorry that I beat you to it! Anyway, Shannon didn't want over-exert herself by going after Jack when there was other prey hanging around on the beach.

xxHallieMariexx: Yes, that is one of my favorite lines too. It just seemed like something that Sawyer would do.

lostgurl: I'm glad you're enjoying so far!

Icgirl: I decided to play off Sun and Jin because it seems a little obvious sometimes that she knows English in the show.

Lil' Moony and Lil' Padfoot: I'm glad you're enjoying it! You names wouldn't have anything to do with Harry Potter, would they?...

-If I've forgotten anyone, sorry!


	5. A Plan Fulfilled By Accident

Here's chapter three. Anything about Sawyer is so much fun to write! Anyway, the responses to your reviews are posted at the end, please keep reviewing, I love the feed-back, and, as always, please enjoy.

-Romen

**A Plan Full-filled By Accident**

"Pull the knot Sawyer!" Sayid cried as the monster came closer to them. "Pull it now!"

"I ain't pulling no knot. I might loose one of the gold plates on my teeth."

"Do it or I'll tell everyone where your Secret Stash of Island Necessities For the Day When We Discover We Shall Never Escape is!" Jack said tersely.

Sawyer couldn't stand a threat like that. He quickly pulled the knot with his teeth, and in no time, they were untangled.

"Follow me!" Sayid cried. "I know where a grove of bamboo trees are that we can hide behind!"

Jack started following him. He turned to look behind. Sawyer was standing there, with a gun in his hands!

Sawyer started shooting at every leaf that moved. Jack grabbed him, praying that Sawyer didn't accidentally shoot HIM instead of the monster. They made their way into the grove, and stood there, waiting for the monster to go away.

For a long time the only sound that Jack heard was the breathing of his companions and the strange loud noises of the monster. It blocked the sunlight (somehow, the sun had move so that they could be shadowed over by the monster), and they were all hidden in shadow. Suddenly, light began flowing back over them like someone was spilling a jug of lemonade in slow motion over them. They paused a moment, and when they were sure that the monster was gone, they stepped out from inside of the grove.

"What did you think you were doing?" Sayid demanded. "You could have gotten all of us killed!"

"Well, I shot a bear," Sawyer snapped. "Who's to say that I couldn't shoot this thing too?"

"Monsters can't be killed by being shot," Sayid said, rolling his eyes. "It just doesn't work that way."

"You're just afraid that I would get all of the glory." Sawyer crossed his arms. "Well let me tell you something, buddy..."

"I wonder what this sinister looking green substance on the back of our heads is." Jack put a finger on the top of his head so that some of the substance was on his finger. He put it under his nose and sniffed. "It doesn't smell like anything used for treating a wood..."

"So what is it, Jungle Jack?" Sawyer rolled his eyes. "I don't care what this stuff is; I'm more concerned about why that old geezer tied us all to a tree but, hey, I'm crazy, remember?"

"Do you hear that?" Sayid asked, raising a hand to stop them. They could hear the melody of a pan-flute on the wind. "Let's hide in the grove again!"

They hid behind the bamboo. They could barely see the figure of Boone pass by. He was blowing on a small pan-flute. It appeared as if he had made it himself.

Birds landed on tree limbs as he passed. Foxes (yeah, foxes live there) paused, cocking their heads to the side. Butterflies flew in flocks around him as he sat down on a rock. Bears came out from hiding behind trees. Skunks hastily gathered around his feet. Sawyer thought he saw a few snails crawling past.

A baby bird began to sing along with Boone. Soon, the bird was singing in harmony, and then a bear growled in a round. The skunks bobbed their heads back and forth. The foxes howled as if they were singing as well, joining in the song. The snails continued crawling.

"This is sick," Sawyer snarled. "I don't think I can take much more of this, Jack."

Sayid began rummaging through his pockets. "Yes, I have one!"

"What, a brain?" Sawyer asked sarcastically.

Sayid ignored him. "I have an idea, and I'm pretty sure that it will work..."

Boone continued playing his melody on the pan-pipe. Suddenly, Sayid stepped right in front of him, waving a candy bar.

"Look, Little B, look what good ole' Sayid has for you!"

Boone's melody grew faster. Sayid could tell that he was excited.

"Follow me!" Sayid began dancing. Boone followed him. The animals skipped after their Master.

Boone was playing "In the Hole of the Mountain King." It might be similar to a song that you know. It was just a bit faster.

They walked for a long distance. Even the people on the beach stopped to hear the music (or so Sayid thought, anyway).

Sayid looked up. He could see Sawyer on his stomach, lying on a tree limb (by the way, Sayid and Jack had taken the gun from him and put it under a rock that they THOUGHT he hadn't seen). Across the path from Sawyer, Jack was hiding behind a tree. Boone was too enraptured in the candy bar and his music to know anything that was going on. Their plan was working perfectly...

Sawyer was just about to jump out of the tree, when a roar made the whole jungle shake.

"It's the monster!" he shouted, falling out of the tree and landing on Sayid. The impact made Sayid toss the candy bar behind him. The animals scattered as Boone bent down to pick it up.

Jack, Sawyer, and Sayid began running in the opposite direction. They expected to see Boone behind them, but he was still so happy about getting the candy bar that he was thinking straight. At that moment, they saw him get sucked up, just like a vacuum cleaner sucks up a stray dust bunny that should have stayed hidden beneath the sofa or bed.

And that was the end of Boone.

Or so they thought...

Orlando Hope: Thank you; trust me, I will keep up with it (I can barely stop!).

Imzadi: LOL just make sure that you don't hit your head while rolling. Yes, Shannon's Grip of Death is quite dangerous; more dangerous than even Boone knows...heh heh heh...

Pink Pinker: Just don't hold a calla lily while you laugh! I'm glad that you're enjoying it.


	6. Hurley's Plan

Okay, here's chapter six. This is one of the last chapters of We're Saved! vol. 1. Don't worry; it's not over here. The title will simply change: We're Saved vol. 1 & 2. It will include all of the previous chapters, but also the chapters of volume 2. I just thought that I should tell you all that so you know to look in the same place.  
Who liked this week's episode? Loved it! Don't worry; there will be reference to Sawyer's boar experience, except this time, it isn't a boar.  
-Romen

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, I never have, and I never will. So you can't sue me!

6. Hurley's Plan

"Can you believe those jerks?" Shannon said, her GOD (Grip of Death) even tighter on Jin's throbbing hand. "They totally ruined our date!"

"Nae suipun nomu nassumnida," Jin reflected, thinking of life pre-island time. He turned to Shannon. "Ton kajigo issumnika?"

"Dudes, watch out!" Hurley cried, running over and pushing them away. "You almost stepped on several of my vital parts."

Shannon frowned. "Hurley, mind your manners!"

"Look down." Hurley pointed. "These are parts that I have gathered from the plane."

"Posot choahashimnikka?" Jin asked Hurley. No one paid him any attention.

"What are you doing with parts from the plane?" Shannon asked, rolling her eyes. "Are you making a boom-box? A high-definition plasma television?" Shannon sighed wistfully, wishing that it were so.

"No, what I'm doing is even better," Hurley answered her, smiling wryly. "Yesterday, I fell down and hit my head."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Dude, just listen." Hurley let out a deep breath, looked around, and then stepped closer to them. "After I hit my head, I looked up and saw a flock of birds. Within seconds, I figured out how many birds were in the flock. After that, I figured out how many seeds were in the cantaloupe. Ever since I hit my head, I have been a mathematical genius."

Shannon snorted. "So, you're trying to tell us that you are the next Edgar Ainstien?"

"Don't you mean Albert Einstein?" Hurley raised one eyebrow higher than the other.

"Whatever; it's the same thing." Shannon rolled her eyes again. "Anyway, you're saying that you have been able to solve difficult mathematical problems ever since you hit your head?"

"Exactly. In a matter of minutes, I'd figured out a way to make actual jet-packs to get us off of the island," Hurley continued, looking back and forth between them. "Right now, I'm working on the jet packs. It's taking me longer to put them together then it was to figure out what I needed to create them."

"Well, we can help," Shannon said quickly, eager to get off of the island. "Come on Jin, we can, can't we?"

Jin nodded. "Toumi piryo hamnidia."

Hurley smiled. "Thanks. I could really use the help, but BE CAREFUL. If one of these parts are destroyed, there is NO REPLACING THEM!"

-

"Is he dead?" Sawyer asked, biting off of the candy bar. "This is good. I like the ones with almonds..."

"He's definitely dead," Sayid interrupted. "Look at him, Sawyer; his entrails are ripped out, he no longer has any eyeballs; he's missing his heart, for goodness sakes! He's missing his heart!"

"Sayid, calm down." Jack put his hand under his own chin. "What could have done something like that?"

"I'll tell you what," Sawyer replied, his mouth full, "the freaking monster did it."

Sayid closed Boone's eyelids. "He was an annoying, ugly, naive, stupid, insolent, big-mouthed boy. Rest in peace, Boone."

"Rest in peace," Jack agreed, his hand on his heart and nodding his head slightly.

"Yeah, rest in peace, Little B." Sawyer swallowed. "I wonder if that pan pipe is around here anywhere..."

"Why are you worried about the flute?" Sayid cried, whirling around to face the man wildly.

Sawyer took another bite. "I might be able to get some good money off of that thing. Hey, maybe I'll even learn how to play while we're here."

"I guess that the monster destroyed the flute when he sucked Boone up," Jack answered, turning around to look at them all. "Let's get back to the others. We need to tell them about Boone."

"What about him?" Sawyer stuck his free hand in his blue jeans pocket.

"He's dead," Sayid snapped, glaring at Sawyer.

"Oh...right..." Sawyer shrugged. "I guess that we should go back and tell them."

"That's just what I...Never mind." Jack sighed, and they began to follow him outside of the jungle.

-

"Watch out!" Hurley shouted. "You almost stepped on the most vital part of all!"

"Oh." Shannon thrust her chin out defensively. "Hasn't anyone told you that I can't do anything right?"

Hurley didn't have any time to reply. At that moment, Locke wandered by. He observed the situation.

"What's going on here?" he asked, taking a bite into the fruit that he was eating.

"Hurley's making wings so we can get off of the island," Shannon asnwered, crossing her arms. "Jin and I are helping, aren't we, Jin?"

"Noinul mannassulttae chokchcholhan yejori maeu chungyo hamnida," Jin replied, gesturing to her crossed arms and shaking his head. "Migukin."

"Actually, they're jetpacks," Hurley said slowly.

"Whatever. Anyway, Hurley has figured out a way for us to get off of the island."

"Hey, can I help?" Locke asked, stepping towards them.

Just as Hurley was about to say yes, a very ragged looking Jack, Sawyer, and Sayid entered, their faces both downcast and elated (if that's possible).

"You're back!" Locke, Hurley, and Shannon exclaimed.

"It's about Boone," Sawyer, Jack, and Sayid said in unison.

At that moment, Kate walked by, holding hands with...DUH DUH DUH!

BOONE!

"You!" they all shouted, staring at each other.

"What's going on here?" Sawyer, Jack, and Sayid asked, turning to stare at Locke.

"What do you mean?" Kate and Boone shouted.

"You're supposed to be dead!" Sawyer, Jack, Sayid

"This is nuts!" Kate, Shannon, Hurley

"Nuts, I'm/he's supposedly to be dead!" Boone, Sayid, Sawyer, Jack

"I can't take it anymore!" Sawyer cried. He turned to Boone. "Little B, you're going down!"

Pink Pinker: Oops, sorry! He's alive! Really, though, I agree with you. He has some major problems. You'd have to like Shannon Imzadi: I'm glad that you like it. That was a really fun chapter to write. I wanted to play off of Boone's naivety and innocence (yeah right). Yup, I meant "In the Hole of the Mountain King." I hope you liked this chapter too! 

lordoftheringsfanficreader: I'm glad that you like it. I like that line of Sayid's too. If you want more Sayid humor, don't worry; it will be coming up soon! 


	7. The Fight

Here's chapter 7. This chapter is basically the title: The Fight. It is a fight. So, without further ado, let's begin.  
-Romen

Disclaimer: Ain't me, T'weren't mine, never T'will be mine.

7. The Fight

Sawyer lunged at Boone, his hands reaching for his throat. Just in time, Kate swung her suitcase to the side. It made contact with Sawyer's head, which was so hard that Kate fall back onto Boone, who fell back onto Shannon, who fell back onto Locke, who fell back onto Jin, who flung the screwdriver that he was holding. The screwdriver hit Sayid in the head, and he knocked his head against Jack.

Before long, they were all going for each other.

Shannon flexed her fingers, letting out a high-pitched cackle. She grabbed Sawyer's cheeks with her deadly GOD, pinching up skin.

"How does that feel, you red-neck slime-bag?"

"Ow!" Sawyer cried, trying to push her away. He fell back onto Sayid, who was ducking Kate's suitcase. Kate had swung just a moment ago, and now she hit Shannon in the head.

"She's my sister!" Boone cried, trying to grab Kate's suitcase.

"Let go!" she grunted, trying to pull it free from his hands. "Get your dirty little hands off of it!"

"Listen to her!" Jack ran forward, grabbing Little B's hair and pulling back. Boone let go, grabbing Jack's hand and trying to pull his hands off of his hair.

"Get off of me," Sayid spat out, trying to shove Sawyer off of him.

"The broad won't let go," Sawyer cried out, screaming. "It hurts so bad!"

"I said to get off!" Sayid mustered all of his strength and pushed them off of him. Sawyer was still in the middle, but Shannon was now on the bottom, and Sayid on top. He pushed himself off and threw himself at Boone, wrapping his arms around the boy's neck and pulling hard.

"You fool!" Sayid cried. "Do you understand what you put us through? Do you understand the danger that we were in? You sick, sick monster!"

At that moment, Michael and Walt walked by.

"Look, Dad, they're fighting!" Walt said, his voice aw-filled.

"We're going to avoid this, okay, son? Let's keep going." Michael tried to shove his son along.

"Yeah, you keep on going, brat-face!" Sawyer shouted, glaring at Walt as Shannon tightened her grip. Walt stuck his tongue out. "Well that's just nice! Didn't your bum-dad teach you any manners?"

"Nobody calls my son a brat," Michael retorted, running towards Sawyer. He turned around, pausing, smiling at the camera. -SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE- "And nobody calls me a bum, because I use this toothpaste." He flashed the toothpaste logo (SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE), and then jumped on toP of Sawyer.

"You go Dad! You go! You're The One!" Walt threw his fist in the air.

"Hold on, hold on!" Everyone stopped fighting.

"What's going on?" Kate asked. She had barely stopped her suitcase in midair.

"My son needs an important lesson." He looked down at Sawyer. "Can I?"

"Yeah, sure," Sawyer replied. Michael stood up.

"Now son, you know that I'm not The One." Michael shook his head, sighing.

"But, who is The One?" Walt was perplexed.

"Neo's The One! Shoot, what's your mom been teaching you?" He turned back to everyone. "Okay, let's get back."

He jumped on top of Sawyer, beating his back.

Sawyer head-butted Shannon. She released her GOD, putting her hands on her aching face. He easily pushed Michael off of his back, and pulled out...A GUN!

Charlie and Claire just happened to be passing by.

"Stand-back, Claire!" Charlie shouted, shielding her from the flailing arms, legs, and other inanimate objects. "You don't want to get hurt!"

Sawyer pointed his gun at several parts. Someone had knocked oil on top of them.

"No, don't shoot!" Hurley shouted, waving his arms, but Sawyer couldn't be stopped. He pulled the trigger.

There was a large explosion. Everyone stopped, their mouths open, staring at the large column of fire and smoke.

"Oh, no, Charlie, I'm having contractions!" Claire cried, her face contorted in pain.

Heheheh, the responses:

Imzadi: Ha ha, I'm glad you like it. This isn't one of my favorite chapters, but it was necessary to keep them on the island. Also it leads up to the next thing, which is quite strange... Anyway, I wish Sawyer could have found the pan pipe. Perhaps it would have given him a hobby (ha!). Unfortunately, Boone is still among us.

lordoftheringsfanficreader: Yes, I love Sayid humor. There is something about it that is so strange! I really like some other stuff coming up, I laughed so hard when I started planning it that I was crying. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter too! 


	8. Explanations

Okay, here is the LAST chapter of vol. 1. The next time you check for an update, it will be "We're Saved! vol. 1 2." So, please R and R for this chapter.

As always, enjoy!

Romen

PS- Sorry for the slow update!

PPS- Who liked today's episode? I did! Why was Hurley on the Korean television though? Hmm...

8. Explanations

Everyone froze. Jack ran over to Claire.

"Wait, that was the last one!" Claire shouted, waving her arms. Everyone groaned and rolled their eyes.

"It was just a false alarm," Charlie said, enforcing her point.

"No, no." Hurley fell to his knees. "The horror! The freaking horror!"

"What's going on?" Kate gently put her hand on Hurley's shoulder. He looked up at her, his eyes tearful.

"The parts...are gone! There's no replacing them!"

Everyone looked at the column of smoke and fire.

"YOU! YOU!" Shannon lunged at Sawyer again, pinching his cheeks. "HOW COULD YOU! WE ALMOST GOT OFF OF THE ISLAND! YOU DESTROYED THE PARTS!"

"Hey, Sticks, he can replace them, can't he?" Sawyer didn't even try to push her off of him, knowing that it would be a hopeless cause.

"NO, THEY'RE IRREPLACEABLE!" Shannon shrieked. "AND DON'T CALL ME STICKS! I HATE THAT NAME!"

Shannon and Sawyer were making their way over to the destroyed parts. Jin shoved them away.

"Kkaeji antorok choshimhashio!" he snapped. Unfortunately, no understood Korean, otherwise they probably could have gotten off of the island that very day.

Shannon let go, putting her head in her hands and sobbing. "This is terrible! I had so many hopes, so many dreams. I was going to tan in a tanning booth, where sand couldn't get all over me."

"Um, that's great, but, what I want to know is why these three clowns thought Boone was dead," Michael interrupted, taking his son by the hand.

Jack snapped his fingers, an odd look coming over his face. "Locke! That sinister looking green gunk that you put on the back of our heads..."

Locke nodded. "Yes, that was a Vision Quest Mixture."

"Vision Quest Mixture?" Charlie repeated, his eyes glowing eagerly. "So, what, was it like a drug induced vision quest or something?"

Locke nodded. "You three aren't the only ones to go through one. Boone went on a VQ, and so did Jin, but I don't think he understood when I tried to explain it to him."

"Did you put us through the Vision Quest so that we would learn a valuable lesson that would assist to our survival on the island and cause to form some kind of brotherly bond?" Sawyer asked, his eyes wide.

Locke smiled. "Not really. I just thought it would be funny to see you guys running around like that."

"This is it!" Sayid cried, stomping into the middle of the group. "I've had it with every single one of you! I'm getting out of here!"

"Where are you going?" Walt asked.

"Somewhere far, far away from here, somewhere else on the island." Sayid turned around, glaring at them all. "And don't any of you try to follow me, because I'm not coming back!"

Everyone nodded fervently as Sayid disappeared into the jungle, still babbling to himself hysterically.

"I can't believe you still love Boone," Sawyer snarled at Kate, shoving Shannon away from him. "How could you do that?"

"What about me?" Jack asked, frowning.

"Wait, wait!" Kate threw her hands in the air, stepping into the middle of them all, exactly where Sayid had been standing. "You three - or now, two - may not have learned a valuable lesson when you went on your VQ, but I have learned something about myself."

Kate took a deep breath.

"I love all three of you!"

Orlando Hope: Heheh Are you glad I brought in Charlie and Claire? There will be a lot more Charlie-stuff coming up, so have no fear! Anyway, I promise that the next chapter will be longer.

Imzadi: Ha ha I'm glad you liked the ad! Yeah, Claire was kind of a nuisance, but she did end the fight, so we have to give her that credit. The Neo thing is really just playing off of the fact that the guy who played Michael was in the Matrix Reloaded and the Matrix Revolutions. He played one of the main characters, but he wasn't Neo, and in the movies, Neo is 'the one'. I hope you liked this chapter too!

Phoenix-Talon: Good, now I know that my job is done. (Tips tweed hat and stuffs hands in trench coat before walking down the foggy street, disappearing into the mist as someone plays the saxophone).


	9. The Odyssey' Was Useful After All

Wow, so we're finally here: We're Saved! vol. 1 2. This is chapter 9. I really like this next section (vol. 2), I had a lot of fun brainstorming about it, and a lot of other plots and things will come out of the castaways' experiences in this volume.

So, please enjoy!

Romen

9. 'The Odyssey' Was Useful After All

Kate sat down on a rock, biting her lip, perspiration sliding down her face. She looked up at Boone, Sawyer, and Jack. They were all staring at her expectantly. She hugged her haliburton a bit tighter.

"What's in that thing?" Sawyer asked, reaching for the suitcase. Kate jerked away.

"I'm trying to think, all right? Give me some space."

"Fine, fine, Freckles." Sawyer rolled his eyes. "We've been on this island for over 40 days. You'd think that you'd have already made you decision."

"Important decisions take a long time," Kate retorted. "If you knew that maybe you wouldn't have already tattooed my name onto your arm."

Sawyer frowned. "But I thought that you said that you loved me."

Kate sighed. "I do."

"You're not choosing him, are you?" Jack and Boone cried, leaping forward.

Kate smiled softly. "Of course not. I'm still trying to decide which one of you that I love more."

"Oh." They all continued to stare at her, until Locke interrupted.

"This is getting ridiculous," he said, stepping over a sobbing Hurley and Shannon. "We've been trying to figure out what to do about this Sawyer-Jack- (and now) Boone problem ever since we arrived on the island."

"I hear you, brother!" Sawyer raised his fist.

"And for some reason, we've all depended on Kate and Kate alone to make that decision." Locke stepped over to her.

Kate was clueless. "What, are you saying that there is some way to make the decision without me having to decide?"

Locke nodded. "Have you ever heard of 'The Odyssey?'"

They all groaned, remembering how they had wanted Odysseus to just GO HOME.

"It's all about the journey and not the destination," Jack remembered aloud. "Life is the journey, not the destination."

Sawyer looked disgusted. "You actually retained that information?"

"Anyway," Locke butted in again, "when Odysseus finally made it home, he was surprised to find his wife surrounded by greedy, money-grubbing suitors. His wife, Penelope, set up a series of tests that the suitors should have to go through. The man that won would be worthy of her heart."

Kate nodded. "And Odysseus won."

"Wait; I thought that he was dead!" Boone looked confused.

"Everyone just thought that he was dead," Sawyer snapped. "Heck, even I knew that."

"So, John, you're saying that I should be like Penelope and set up a series of tests or challenges that all of the eligible men on the island should pass through in order to be worthy of my heart," Kate stated, after taking a deep breath.

"Exactly." Locke smiled his freaky grin.

"Hold on here, just wait a minute." Sawyer put his hand out. "All of the eligible men on the island? I thought that you said that you only loved us."

"Well, Sawyer," Kate began slowly, "if none of you are able to pass the challenges, none of you are worthy. I need at least one other contestant."

"Hmm, why didn't I think of this?" Shannon wiped tears away. "Oh yeah, I didn't read 'The Odyssey', I just bought the E-Z-Read Notes."

"I thought that you said that didn't read the E-Z-Read." Boone turned around to look at her. Shannon nodded, finally remembering.

"You're right! It was too much work, so I just copied off of yours. No wonder I got such a bad grade...I should have known that it was a bad decision when I saw that you had spelt 'Calypso' K-a-y-l-i-p-s-e-w."

"Locke, let's send out messengers throughout the island to tell them about the contest!" Kate said excitedly. She turned to Sawyer. "Would you mind...?"

"Of course not," he replied sarcastically. "It ain't like I don't go anything else that I got to do." He was about to leave. "When should it start?"

"In one hour."

"Okay."

The responses:

lordoftheringsfanficreader: I hope that you liked this one too. I wanted to post it yesterday, but there's something wrong with the phone line…

Imzadi: Huh, I didn't know that about old Harold. Did you know that Daniel Dae Kim also had like two lines in Spiderman 2? Yeah, that was the only reason Locke wanted them to go on the VQ. Sayid's already found Danielle, but could there be another inhabitant on the island? Anyway, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter as well.


	10. Traps

Here we are at chapter whatever (bad memory today). I hope that you all enjoy this chapter. We get a look at Sayid (laughs) and I think at Charlie's plan. However, the contests do not start for another whole chapter.

I apologize for my extremely slow update. Expect another one soon!

Enjoy!

Romen

10. Traps

Sayid ran through the jungle. He had no idea where he was going, but he knew that he wanted to make it over the mountains and get as far away from those nuts as he could. He had stayed with them long enough. SNAP.

"What was that?" He looked all around him. He gingerly stepped forward, noting a cord, like the kind that has a plug attached to the end.

"Hmm." Sayid began to follow the cord through the jungle. He followed it for quite some time, hoping to get to the end soon. "I wonder if this is another one of Danielle's traps," he wondered out-loud. "Strange..."

Unfortunately, he was **so** caught up in following the cord that he stepped on top of a trap and fell into a pit. A stereo came down and hit him on the head. He saw no more.

"Hear ye, hear ye!" Sawyer cried. "By order of Kate, there is going to be a contest held today and whoever wins is worthy of her affection!"

"So, it's a competition?" Claire asked as Charlie hand-fed her.

"Exactly," Boone replied. He had accompanied Sawyer to spread the word. "It's gonna be in about an hour."

"Wow, Dad, did you hear that!" Walt turned to look at Michael, who was stocking up on stuff for the raft, a.k.a. the _S. S. Michael_. "There's going to be a contest, and whoever wins gets to be Kate's boyfriend."

"Great," Michael said, not really listening. "Walt, why don't you come over here and help me lift this..."

"I want to be in the contest," Walt continued, running over to help his father. "Can I join, Dad?"

"What, enter! No! You're too young!" He observed Walt's face. "You are not to enter, do you hear me?"

"Okay," Walt said, kicking a small rock and sitting down, crossing his arms.

Locke was sitting out in the jungle, meditating before he helped Kate at the contest. Everything was so peaceful. The only sound to be heard for miles was the sound of the wind in the trees, birds chirping, someone running,

"HEY! LOCKE!"

Locke opened his eyes, pulling out his knife. He sighed in relief when he saw that it was only Charlie.

"What's wrong?" he asked, still worried.

"Oh, uh..." Charlie's face suddenly looked grim. "It's...Steve. Yeah, I think he found some buried treasure somewhere. He wants you to help him find it."

"All right, where is he?"

"Umm..." Charlie paused, as if reluctant to tell Locke. "By some bamboo clearing. He's waiting for you."

Locke started to take off but stopped when he noticed that Charlie wasn't following him.

"Aren't you coming?"

Charlie shook his head. "No, I've got to get back to Claire."

Locke nodded in understanding and continued on his way. When Charlie could no longer hear his footstep, he began searching the ground eagerly.

"Where is it, where is it," he muttered under his breath, going through some of Locke's bags. Finally, he found what he was looking for.

Charlie held a small, paper-back book that said, "Walk-About Recipe Book" on the cover. He flipped to the index and went to the page number next to "Vision Quest Mixture."

He looked at the ingredients. They were all items that he could find on the island. There was only one that he dreaded having to get: vodka.

He knew who would have vodka, but...

He really didn't want to ask Sawyer.

"Wait! Mr. Sawyer!"

Sawyer and Boone turned around to see Walt running after them. He kept looking over his shoulder as if he was afraid that someone would see him.

"What do you want, squirt?" Sawyer eyed Walt warily. He didn't trust little kids, especially Walt. Sometimes he saw him staring at fire with a glazed look in his eyes.

"I just wanted to join the contest," Walt answered, catching his breath as he stopped. At that moment, Charlie appeared.

"Hey Sawyer, I'll give you two of my autographed CDs and a plastic model of the ring that I got on the Driveshaft Finland tour if you give me one bottle of vodka." He looked down at Walt. "What's going on?"

"That's a deal. As for what's going on, Snoopy here wants to enter in the competition." Sawyer rolled his eyes. "And..."

Charlie pulled Sawyer to the side, Boone following. He glanced at Walt nervously. "You have to let him in."

"WHAT!" Boone and Sawyer cried.

Charlie's eyes were wide. "You don't understand. Walt's...different. Plus, he can hold a serious grudge." He glanced back at the kid before continuing. "One day, I accidentally gave Walt's comic books to someone to use as toilet paper in return for a pack of batteries to use for my headphones. Well, somehow Walt found out. After that, things just got...mean."

"What, he held you down and gave you a wet-wily?" Sawyer said sarcastically. Charlie wasn't amused.

"Every time I listened to my music, he'd show up and I would get electrocuted by my headphones. Every single time." Charlie shuddered. "Let him in, man, or you'll regret it."

"I agree with him Sawyer." Boone danced around nervously. "I've heard other rumors about Walt. Saying no to him is like tying your own noose."

Sawyer looked back at Walt. "Okay, kid, you're in."

Walt grinned and jumped at Sawyer. He let out a yell, thinking that the child was attacking him. He was really just giving the red-neck a hug.

"Thank you, oh thank you Mr. Sawyer!" Walt cried, hugging Sawyer even tighter. "You are the nicest ugly person that I have ever known! I'm going to be your friend!"

Sawyer pried Walt from him awkwardly, looking around and glaring at Charlie and Boone as they sniggered at him. He turned back to Walt.

"Geeze kid; get Lost."

Walt smiled. "Okay, Mr. Sawyer." Walt disappeared down the path...

**TBC...**

The responses:

**Pink Pinker**: I don't know if I've replied to this yet, so I'm going to do it now even if I already have. Yeah, I thought that I should play on that line since Shannon is ALWAYS whining about that. Unfortunately, it happens to be true. I'm glad that you're enjoying this!

**Imzad**i: I don't know. Doesn't Boone already breathe for her lol? Or he did. Now he's competing for Kate! I'm glad that you're enjoying this, and yes, it would be nice to see Hurley get a little limelight.

**rockstarhobbit**: I'm glad that you're enjoying this. I hope that you liked this chapter as well! Yeah, it is really weird, even I'll admit it.

**lordoftheringsfanficreader**: Unfortunately the contest didn't start yet, but it will soon. I hope that you liked this chapter!


	11. A Little Magic and a Little Freaky Islan...

Okay, everyone; I promise that the contest will begin shortly. For now, it still hasn't started yet.

Please enjoy, and r and r!

Romen

Disclaimer: Unfamiliar mine BUT Familiar not mine

7. A Little Magic and a Little Freaky Island Inhabitant

"One...two...three..."

"Whatcha doing, Jacko?" Sawyer asked as he, Boone, and Charlie passed by. They were on their way to one of Sawyer's many stashes around the island to get a bottle of vodka in return for Charlie's treasures.

"I'm working out." Jack sat up. He had just started doing some push-ups after a jog around the beach. "I'm trying to warm-up before the contest starts. What about you?"

"What we're doing ain't none of your business," Sawyer snapped. "You're the enemy."

"Then why are you walking with Boone? Isn't he the enemy too?"

Sawyer considered this before turning on the poor boy. "He's got a point, Little B. Go on, get!"

Boone was scared of the big, angry man, so he ran off into the jungle, stopping only when he could no longer hear Sawyer's manic laughter. He shivered, looking up at the blue sky before whistling to himself while singing at the same time, just like the Russianfolk artists who had worked so hard to achieve such skill.

"Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect and whistle a happy tune so no one will suspect I'm afraid. While shivering in my shoes, I strike a careless pose and whistle a happy tune so no one ever knows I'm afraid. The result of this deception is very clear to tell. For when I fool the people I fear I fool myself as well."

"That doesn't really work, you know."

Boone stopped, surprised to see Walt sitting on a tree limb. He climbed down, landing on the ground with a soft thump. "I tried to do that on the playground at school, and I still got beat up. But I did get revenge."

"Really?" Boone could feel himself trembling. "How?"

Walt shrugged. "I don't know. It wasn't really me, stuff just kept happening to the kid who had beaten me. One day he found a moldy orange in his locker, and then his deodorant go stolen out of his gym bag. It all ended when his parents decided to transfer him. They thought he was cursed. Something about some numbers..." He shook his head. "Are you going to be in the contest too, Mr. Boone?"

"That's Mr. Carlyle to you," he replied haughtily, "and yes, I am entering. It doesn't matter anyway; Kate has already declared her love for me."

"That doesn't mean anything. She declared her love to Sawyer and Jack too." Walt crossed his arms, as if saying 'can you top that?'

"Well..." Boone stopped, suddenly smiling amiably. "Why don't we strike a bargain, Walt?"

Walt frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I've heard that you have"- Boone paused, searching for the right words -"certain skills."

"Oh yeah." Walt nodded enthusiastically. "I'm really good at basketball, and I can draw, just like my dad. I also can run real fast and"-

"How interesting. I mean, those are all very good, but I'm speaking of something different." He lowered his voice, stepping closer in case someone was spying on them. "I'm talking about...more mature and important skills that only you posses."

"Uhmmmmmm!" Walt's eyes grew wide as he pointed at Boone. "You want me to help you cheat! That's against the rules! I'm gonna tell on you!"

"Oh, never mind." Boone was just about to walk away when he heard Walt cry out. "What is it?"

"Look at this rock." The kid picked up a shiny, smooth, flat, reddish-orange stone. "Isn't it cool?"

"Let me see that." Boone grabbed it out of his hands, examining it. "This is just a stupid pebble. There's nothing cool about it at all. If it were a cellphone, perhaps I would say, 'Wow, what a deal! Does it come with a free minutes plan?' But a rock will do you know good. Just forget about it." He dropped it.

Despite what Little B had just said, Walt bent down to pick it up. "I wish that I had my pebble collection with me! Huh?"

"What now?" Boone shouted, turning around, surprised to see Walt's pockets bulging with something. "What's in there?"

"It's...my pebble collection." Walt's eyes grew wide. "I didn't have this on me before! This rock must be magic!"

"There's no such thing as magic, boy," Boone growled, his face going from white to purple in rage, just like his distant relative Uncle Vernon.

"Mama always said that magic was in dreams," Walt replied promptly. "This pebble is the only explanation for what just happened. You saw it with your own two eyes."

"You're just nervous." Still, Boone had his doubts. As he watched Walt play with his new addition, Boone was struck with an idea. "Hey, kid?"

"Yeah?" Walt cocked his head to the side.

"I'll tell you what: let's strike a bargain that has nothing to do with the contest, okay?"

"Sure." Walt pocketed the pebble. "What is it?"

"See this?" Boone held up a wad of one dollar bills. "I'll give you all of this money if you give me your pebble."

"Those are only one dollars," Walt snapped. "Magic is much better than twenty bucks."

Boone pulled out his checkbook with an exhasperated sigh. "Here, I'll write you a check for fifteen hundred dollars. You're not the first one I've paid off to give me a pebble, Walt. How much is your love for that pebble?"

"My love for this pebble?" Walt put his hand on his chin thoughtfully. "It's closer to one thousand five hundred dollars."

Boone grinned. "Wow, you're a hard man to bargain with. I guess that will have to do if that's as low as you'll go."

Once the transaction was made, Boone stole away to a clearing to examine the pebble closer as Walt checked the authenticity of the check.

On the back of the stone was a small sticker that said: MADE IN CHINA and WARNING: THIS IS A FLAMABLE SUBTANCE. STAY AWAY FROM ANY FLAME. That wouldn't be too difficult. Now he could only hope that the pebble was worth all of the money that he had spent. As soon as he thought this, apamphlet appeared a few feet away from him. It had no title page, so he simply began to read.

_If you are reading this, the Magic Pebble Edition 2005 has just come into your possesion. Your certificate of authenticity is in the back of the book._

_You might be wondering how to work your Magic Pebble Edition 2005. It isn't very difficult. Technological scientists and magical philosophers have been working hard to make the use of this wonderful creation effortless and have succeeded after years of research and experiments. The only thing that you have to do is state aloud what you want the pebble to do. For example:_

_1) Let's pretend that you want an ice cream cone, for free._

_2) Put the pebble in your hand, open palmed_

_3) Say in a clear voice: I want an ice cream cone, for free._

_4) An ice cream cone shoulder appear. If it doesn't, it isn't our fault; you must have done something wrong._

_There are several things that you cannot ask the pebble to do. You not ask the pebble to prevent or cause something to happen in the future. For instance, you cannot say, "I want to win a contest," or, "I will win a contest." It cannot grant you endless riches or take you back in time, or make someone fall in love with you. Another thing that it is unable to do is increase you skill in a certain area. It can, however, get you off of a deserted island on a majestic fivestar cruise ship._

_Unlike the Bottled Genies of the past, you have no limit to the amount of wishes that you want to make. We believe that since the imagination has no boundaries, why shouldn't wishing as well?_

_So please enjoy your Magic Pebble Edition 2005, and be sure to send your comments to us._

After checking to make sure that the certificate was in the place it should be, he shut the pamphlet with a smile. Even though this Magic Pebble couldn't grant him 'unlimited riches', he could use it to help him win the contest along the way. It had definitely been worth his deal with Walt.

It also said that it could help them get off of the island. He had to tell everyone!

"That's a bad idea," he said to Pebble outloud. "They will want you for themselves. I'll have to do it in secret, so it just looks like a coincidence. Besides, with your help I shall be sure to win Kate's hand!"

Meanwhile, back in the jungle...

"Where's Janet?"

Sayid watched the swinging disco lamp in front of him. "I don't know who you're talking about."

An annoying bluegrass song about dogs blasted through some speakers on the wall. He longed to cover his ears with his hands but they were chained down. "Stop! STOP!" he cried. "I keep telling you, I don't know who Janet is." When he heard the music stop, or at least get turned down, he continued.

"I was on a plane, a plane that crashed here, on this island. I am one of 46 suvivors. While we were here we heard to messages: one in French, a mayday, the other a warning, repeating itself for sixteen years." He let his head fall back on the table that he was tied to. He could see a figure begin toemerge from theshadows.

"Sixteen years. Has it really been that long since I came out with a hit single?"

Sayid's eyes widened. "You're Michael Jack's Son! You're the VH1 has-been that everyone thought died in that plane crash sixteen years ago!"

Michael Jack's Son, even though he enjoyed this praise, narrowed his eyes. "I know who you are."

"Huh?"

Before Sayid could say anything else, Michael Jack's Son hit him with a plank and it was lights-out.

TBC...

Sorry, I can't respond to the reviews right now. Still, keep reviewing and hopefully I will be able to respond next time. (:


	12. The First Task

Hey hey hey! I'm back! Yes, I am BACK baby, and I come with responses. Dances to Driveshaft's "You Are Everybody"

The contests have begun. Unfortunately, this is not the most interesting one. They get better!

Please keep reviewing; I love reviews (who doesn't?)!

And, as always, please enjoy.

Romen

Disclaimer: Familiarnot mine Unfamiliarmine

12. The First Task

While Sayid was being hit in the head by Michael Jack's Son, the others were assembling themselves on beach towels in a clearing. They were all there to watch Kate's Contest, as it had begun to be called by several intrigued attendants, and some were even betting on who would win. All four contestants were assembled. Shannon, who was sitting with Jin, sighed wistfully.

"It's soooo romantic!" she exclaimed. "Is it not, dear?"

"Boat," Jin replied. Shannon frowned. She liked it better when he spoke in Korean.

"Silence, can we have silence!" Locke waited for everyone to cease talking. "Welcome to Kate's Contest. Today this woman will see which of these three men and one boy is worthy of her heart. First, let us announce the contestants. Sawyer from Tennessee! Jack, from...the OR! Boone, from...a rich family! And, last but not least, Walt, from Australia!"

A cheer rose from the crowd. Shannon gave a small _humph_, jealous that she wasn't getting any of the attention and Boone was.

"Now, Kate shall explain the first contest." Locke stepped back as Kate set her suitcase on a make-shift table, smiling warmly.

"For the first task, I decided that I should know who knew me better, you know?" She didn't wait for an answer. "I want everyone to guess what is in my suitcase. You'll never figure it out, but whoever is closest wins the first task."

"I have a question."

"Please, raise your hand Sawyer," Kate instructed. He raised his hand. "Yes?"

"I thought that we were only gonna have to do one thing. You make it sound like we have to do more."

"There shall be more, but how many, I shall not tell you." She cleared her throat. "Now, Walt, since you are youngest, you get to go first."

"Oh, uh..." Walt danced around excitedly, humming. "Is it a Gameboy? No, I take that back...It's a toy."

Locke and Kate looked at each other before scribbling on their notepads. "Your turn, Jack."

"Well, knowing you, it's probably some deep dark secret."

Kate sighed. "That's too vague. Can you be more specific?"

"A diary?"

Kate's face fell. "Your turn, Sawyer."

Sawyer smiled wryly. "It's all of your love letters to me."

"Ugh...You go, Boone."

Boone, who had been looking at his palm and muttering to himself, squinted at the suitcase. "I think that...I think that there are weapons in there, and a toy in an envelope."

Kate's eyes widened. "Uh..." She quickly recovered, shaking her head slightly. "You all did very well. We'll tally up your points after a short conference while you all prepare for the next task."

Shannon leaned closer to Jin. "This is going to get very interesting, my love!"

"Why did you hit me on the head?"

Michael Jack's Son shrugged. "I dunno. I just felt like doing it."

"Ah...I see." Sayid swallowed nervously. The popstar was obviously not in his right mind. "How did you come to be on this island, Michael?"

Michael stood, his hands clasped behind his back as eerie music began to play. "I was on my way to a gig in Mexico. I was supposed to be making my comeback. Suddenly, my plane gave a jolt."

"So you landed on the island."

"NO!" Michael Jack's Son whirled around. "I never said that the plane landed the island. In fact, it went up, up, up, up...Just like during a party, you know?

"Anyway, I was abducted by aliens, who put me on this island. It was part of their experiment to see how long I could survive cut off from the rest of the world. I've done very well, actually."

'Except you're insane,' Sayid thought to himself. "Tell me, Michael, why will you not let me go?"

"I can't let you go!" Michael cried. "I haven't shown you Foreverland yet!"

"What is Foreverland?"

"I'll tell you later." Michael continued sorting through Sayid's pack until he came across a photograph of a woman. "Who's this?"

"Nadia," Sayid answered softly, "her name is Nadia."

"Dude, she's hot. Can I have her digits?"

"She's dead you imbecile!" Sayid snapped. "Besides, we're on an uncharted island. We can't just call people up on the phone!"

"Sorry, sorry." He put the photograph away. Suddenly, there was a loud roar. "Oh man! Not again!"

"Is it the monster?" Sayid asked meekly.

"Man, there's no such things as monsters." Michael Jack's Son waved him away. "One of my polar bears must have escaped from Foreverland. They do it all the time."

"You have polar bears, here, on the island?"

Michael nodded. "I have a whole zoo in Foreverland, and a bunch of cool rides. Wanna come?"

"Not really..."

"Suit yourself. I'm going to go have some fun!"

TBC...

lordoftheringsfanficreader: LOL Did the I start the contests soon enough? This one wasn't very interesting, but they get better as time goes on a suspicion erupts! Buwahahaha! Anyway, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter.

Imzadi: I'm not sure why he hit Sayid on the head either. (Actually, Michael Jack's Son doesn't know, for that matter!) As for the Magic Pebble franchise, they went out of business LOOOONG ago. Bought out by a new bottled genie product, at least that's what I heard. Walt must have just found one that someone pitched while on their way to get a Genie model # 200, 098, 903. I'll try to work in some Sun and Jin. They are a cute couple. Anyway I hope that you enjoyed this chapter.

non-damsel: LOL I'm glad that you like it. It's really a lot of fun to write. I mean, "Lost" is such a serious show that it's fun to turn it into a comedy. I hope that I updated soon enough!

Please keep the reviews coming; I love them all!


	13. More Questions and More Torture for Sayi...

No! NOOOOOOO! I'm sorry Boone, I didn't mean it! I only "pretend" killed you off! You can't die, Little B, you just can't! (Blows nose into a tissue and tosses it behind her back)

Oh well. At least it wasn't Locke!

Anyway, I'm here with another chapter. Please keep reviewing and ENJOY!

Romen

Disclaimer: I don't own n e thing. Nada. Zip. Nothing.

A/N: I am now accepting anonymous reviews. Just thought I should mention something!

13. More Questions and More Torture for Sayid

"Hey, Charlie, what do you have there?"

Charlie looked up nervously, turning around to see Claire looking over his shoulder curiously. He tried to hide the almost completed VQ mixture, but she had already seen. He attempted a smile.

"I'm just making some lotion," he replied smoothly, revealing it completely. "My skin has been really dry lately."

She sat down next to him, her blue eyes gleaming. "So, what, is it body lotion or something?"

"No, it's for your scalp." He leaned in closer to her, looking around. "Did you know that statistics say that 75 of a person's dry skin is on their scalp? I mean, I can't stop itching mine!" He furiously scratched his scalp to enforce his point. "See what I'm saying? I'm going to put it on and to help with my dry skin."

"Wow, can I try some?" Claire gingerly reached towards the bowl but Charlie yanked it out of her grasp.

"No, Claire! I mean, it's only for men."

"Oh." Claire nodded in understanding, silent for a moment. "I can help you put it on, if you'd like."

"That would be nice." He handed the bowl to her, ignoring the nagging fact that it had to set for another five minutes. He was just happy to be getting some attention from Claire.

He sat while she massaged it over his entire scalp, sighing in relief now and then. When she had finished, he laid back down and shut his eyes.

"I'm going to take a nap while I wait for the effects- I mean, while I wait for it to soothe."

"I think I'm going to go check out the contest or see what Sun is doing. See you later!"

Meanwhile, out in the jungle...

"Wee! WEEEEE! Isn't this fun, Sayid?"

"Actually no." Sayid looked down, watching the world zoom past him as he and Michael Jack's Son began their thirtieth round on the roller coaster. "Michael, I want to get down."

"We can't get down! Oh, hey look, dude; it's my baby Junior!" He lifted a very ugly looking baby and set it in Sayid's arms. "Say hi to Uncle Sayid, Junior."

"You let your baby get on this freaking ride!" Sayid cried, looking back and forth between Junior and Michael. "This probably isn't very good for his brain!"

"I'll tell you what's not good for his brain; educational children's programs, soothing classical music, over ten hours of sleep a day, and baby food." He looked over the side. "Ah, let me show you something. This is so cool." He leaned over and grabbed Junior out of Sayid's arms, dangling him over the side of the roller coaster. To Sayid's horror, just as they were about to go down a large loop, he let him drop.

"OH MY GOSH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Sayid grabbed Michael's shoulders and started shaking him. "YOU ARE INSANE! YOU ARE A COMPLETE MANIAC! WHY DID YOU DO THAT? WHAT IN THE WORLD POSSESSED YOU TO DO THAT?"

"The little man in my head told me," Michael Jack's Son explained, looking up. "Oh, hold on one second." He put his arms out as Junior landed in them, fast asleep. He grinned, looking back up at Sayid. "Isn't that cool? I dropped him and then I caught him! Sweet!"

"You are nuts! You are just nuts!"

Michael shrugged, setting Junior back in the seat behind them. "Suit yourself, man. I think it's cool. Oh, gee, look; you can see the Black Rock from here!"

"Huh?" However, Sayid was so distraught over Michael dropping his child over the side of the roller coaster that he missed the Black Rock. "Oh, shoot. Michael, let's get down now. I'm not having any fun."

"Man, I told you; we can't get down." Michael Jack's Son's voice was full of sincerity.

"What do you mean?"

Michael pointed down. "Do you see that? That's the control box. No one's working there, so no one can stop the ride."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Sayid felt his jaw drop down. "So we're stuck on here forever?"

"At least until someone comes by to stop the ride. I used to have a polar bear named Janet who was trained to stop all of my rides, but one day she didn't come back home."

"HELP ME! HELP ME PLEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSEEEEEE!"

Meanwhile, back at the contests...

"Okay, here's the results." Kate cleared her throat, silencing the audience. Everyone looked up as the contestants stood.

"These are the scores out of 10. Walt, 7.9."

All the Walt fans roared, and several losers who had painted a W, A, L, and T on their chests ripped off their shirts and danced around.

"Jack, you have a 5.2."

All of the loyal Jackies booed and hissed, but Jack raised his hand to silence them.

"It's fine," he said in resignation. "Remember, these are the fair scores and I will accept whatever I get."

"Sawyer; 0."

Sawyer frowned, looking at the crowd's blank faces. There was no sound at all.

"Now this is just sad!" he exclaimed. "Don't any of you have anything to say for me?" Someone threw an empty soda can at his head so he shut-up, standing back as another object whirred past him.

"Boone; 9.5."

Everyone hated Boone, so there was immediately a large uproar. They could only be quieted when Kate began to whack on her Haliburton with a gavel.

"That's better. Now, the next contest is..."

TBC...

Orlando Hope: Gasps! How did you know my aspiration? LOL I'm just kidding. Thank you, thank you. I hope that you liked this chapter as well.

Imzadi: LOL You've given me an idea for a future chapter. Yes, Shannon still isn't letting go of Jin. He's going to have to find some way to get rid of her...I hope that you liked this chapter!

non-damsel: Ha ha Thank you. This is a really fun story to write. I hope you liked this chapter! Yes, Boone does have something up his sleeve (or should I say in his palm?).

lordoftheringsfanficreader: I really liked that line too. How did Boone know? Perhaps it has to do with his most recent trade with Walt... Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter!

Please keep reviewing! I love reviews!


	14. The Second Task Is Explained and Even MO...

Okay everyone; I'm back with chapter 14! I hope that you all enjoy and post your reviews!

OOOOH LOVING THESE NEW EPISODES! I hope that they keep coming!

OMG NOOOO! NOOOOO! NOOOO! Boone...sniff...Boone...sob...Little B...sob...No!

I'm sending some bad vibes towards Locke. What is that man all about, eh?

Anyway, let us begin!

Romen

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. If I did, Boone wouldn't be dead and Sayid and Shannon would probably not be together. I do not own, will not own, and have never owned.

14. The Second Task Is Explained and Even More Torture for Sayid

"Hi Sun!" Claire waddled over to the Korean woman, sitting down on a rock as she watched her plant some guava seeds. "Wow, that looks really strenous. It's too bad that I can't help you. I'm pregnant, you know, so I don't have to do any work." She sighed wistfully. "Life is just so hard! I just hate not being able to help with raft or boar hunting."

Sun, while lying about her English speaking skills, had built up a lot of self-control. People would always come to her to vent. In fact, she could probably write a juicy gossip article on each of the castaways. The only way that she kept from losing her cool was to pretend that she wasn't listening, and that was exactly what she was doing with Claire.

"The sun is sooo hot here," the blond continued obliviously, fanning herself with one of Walt's comic books. "I sometimes think that I'm just going to DIE of heat, and all I'm doing is sitting around, watching other people sweat as they work oh-so hard. I wish that I could help!"

Sun couldn't take it anymore. She blew. "Oh really?" she cried, throwing down her small shovel and crossing her arms. "You could at least fill up a water bottle for someone, if it's not too strenous!"

Claire, however, wasn't listening to her remark. Her jaw dropped. "You can speak English?"

"Well...yes." She rolled her eyes.

"Dicken? Oh, no, dicken? Really? Dicken! Oh my gosh! Ha! Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I don't know. I just didn't want to." Sun went back to her digging. "But you have to promise me that you want mention my English speaking skills to anyone."

Claire scowled. "Of course not! It would take away all of the fun."

Sun paused, cocking one eyebrow higher than the other. "Fun?"

Claire nodded, smiling broadly. "Yes, the fun! We can have our own private jokes, our own codes...Oh, we will have so much fun!"

Sun was about to protest when she heard footsteps. They looked up. Charlie walked into the clearing, one of Claire's hats pulled down over his head. He smiled genuinely at them.

"Hello ladies, what are you two doing?"

"Oh...nothing," Claire replied, throwing Sun a conspicious looking wink. "Why are you wearing that funny looking hat, Charlie?"

"What hat?" He put his hand on top of his head, looking confused. "Oh, you mean this old thing? I thought that it could help shade me from the sun."

"It doesn't look good at all. Give it to me." She stood, pulling it off of his head and shrieking at the sight that she saw.

Meanwhile, back in the jungle...

"Michael, I really want to get off of this ride." Sayid looked down at the ground below them. "I'm feeling motion sick..."

"I'm sorry, man, but...I can't." He shrugged. "We could jump on the next time around."

"Jump?" Sayid smacked him on the back of the head. "Are you out of your mind? We can't jump! We'd get killed!"

"Dude, I'm just making a suggestion. If you really want to get off of the ride, we're going to have to jump."

Meanwhile, back in the clearing...

Kate pulled a loose strand of hair behind her hair after making everyone wait in suspense until the next episode- I mean, chapter. "Okay, the next task is going to be one that tests physical strength. Locke, would you be kind enough to explain this to our wonderful contestants?"

Sawyer beamed at being called wonderful. Boone rolled his eyes.

The hunter came forward, clearing his throat as he crossed his arms. "I've found a large tree out in the jungle with good, thick branches. It's a very rare kind of tree. It's called the"-

"Excuse me, but we're not here to get a lesson in biology," Sawyer interrupted, massaging his aching temples. He hadn't been wearing his glasses lately because Charlie and Claire made fun of him every time he put them on. "Can you just explain the task like the lady told you to?"

Locke, who didn't like being told what to do, bristled, but cut to the chase. "You're going to have to hang from a tree limb until your arms get too tired."

Jack snorted. "That's it? That's all we have to do?"

Kate nodded, grinning from ear to ear (literally. Shannon thought it looked quite scary). "Yes, that's all there is to it!"

"Good luck, squirt," Sawyer hissed to Walt under his breath so no one could hear him. "Remember that you're playing with the big boys now."

Walt smiled, dancing around and grabbing Sawyer's hand. "You're my friend, Mr. Sawyer! Thank you, and I hope that you do good to! I just know that I'm gonna win this contest. That is if you don't win, of course. You're the smartest dumb person I've ever met."

"Yeah, well..." Sawyer frowned, not really sure if that were an insult or a compliment.

"You have a few minutes to go warm up," Kate continued, grabbing her haliburton. "Meanwhile, I'm going to go rest. Judging takes a lot of effort!"

"I'll come with." Boone apeared at her side, taking her hand and lovingly stroking it. "You look so tired." He turned to face his opponents. "Good luck! I know that every one of you probably deserves Kate more than I do."

"Suck up," Sawyer muttered as Boone walked off, carrying Kate.

Jack shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I'm going to go get ready."

Meanwhile, back at the _S. S. Michael_...

"No, you have to tie it around this way."

Jin threw down the rope, going off into a string of colorful Korean words.

"Dudes, you're both wrong," Hurley intercepted, putting his hands on both Michael and Jin's shoulders. "It would be much better if you"-

"Who asked you?" Michael cut in, whirling around to face him. "We didn't ask you for any help, did we, Jin?"

"De!" Jin cried in agreement, pounding his fist in his palm.

"Dudes, dudes, just chill out." Hurley backed away. "You should be worrying about Walt."

"Why should I worry about my son? He's right...he's right..." Michael stopped, turning around and glancing across the beach. "Walt?"

TBC...

Look forward to the Second Task, more revalations about what was under Charlie's hat, and more torture for poor Say-Say. We also get to see some Boone/Kate ineraction. Teehee.

Hmm...I really don't know what I'm going to do with Boone. I'll have to kill him off (sighs), but I'll find some way to make it comedic and tie it in with the show. Don't worry, I might even bring him back to life.

Anyway, once again, I am not using my own computer, so I cannot respond to your reviews. Sorry! Please keep them coming. They are a joy to read.

I also apologize for the length of this chapter. The next one will be longer. :)

Romen


	15. More Torture for Poor SaySay and Some Ot...

All right, I'm back with another chapter. This one was a lot of fun for me to write because I go to use some lines from LotR (there a little different, though). I hope that you all enjoy!  
-Romen

PS--- I have responses now! Look for them at the end of the page. :)

Disclaimer: For the last time, I do not own anything!

15. More Torture for Say-Say and Some Other Stuff

"95 bottles of beer on the wall, 95 bottles of beer, you take one down and pass it around, 94 bottles of beer on the wall!"

"Will you please stop singing that song," Sayid moaned, shutting his eyes and wincing at the pain that shot through his skull. "You have already finished it two times!"

"Sure dude, if you want." Michael Jack's Son shrugged. "My mom used to sing it to me when I was a baby, so it's my favorite song."

Sayid watched as they began to go down the loop once again. "That explains a lot. So tell me, Michael, how did your nose come to be so small?"

The pop star hesitated, thinking. "Well, I guess...I'm gonna have to think about that one for a while."

Sayid sighed, leaning his head back. "Good. In the mean time, I am going to rest."

"94 bottles"-

"Shut-up."

"Okay."

Meanwhile, back in the jungle...

"Here, let me set you down on this chaise lounge." Boone gently set Kate down on the ground and helped her to sit, stroking the velvet cover. "Isn't it smooth?"

"Thanks, Boone." Kate sighed, laying down and shutting her eyes. "How did you get this? There wasn't anything like this on the plane."

Boone smiled, turning around to get something. "I just found it. Here, have some chocolate covered strawberries."

"Wow, thanks!" She took one, biting into it. "Delicious! How did you keep the chocolate from melting? I don't see any coolers anywhere..."

"I have my ways. Have a drink of this soda." He handed her a bottle.

"Boone, you're the best! What would I ever do without you?" Kate smiled amiably.

He kissed her hand. "I don't know. What _would_ you do without me?"

"Boone, can I see you for a minute?"

He looked up. "Sure John. Hold on one second." He turned to face Dott (Dott was Scott's twin sister) and Steve. "Hey, you two; why don't you fan Kate with those palm leaves over there?"

"Gee, thanks Boone," Kate gushed.

Boone drew himself up to his full height (which wasn't much). "I just wanted to make sure that you were taken care of while I was gone. I'm coming, John."

The two jogged from the cave until they came to a deserted clearing. Locke frowned, crossing his arms.

"There are many magic pebbles in this world, Boone, and none should be used likely."

Boone scowled, ignoring the fact that Locke knew that he had the pebble. "It was just a bit of fun! Oh well, you're probably right, as usual. You will keep an eye on Shannon while I'm warming up for the contest?"

The old yet young man nodded. "Two eyes, as often as I can spare them."

"I left all of my spare luggage with her, darn it," Boone muttered.

"You are leaving the pebble with Walt?" Locke pressed, his eyes narrowing.

"Yeah, I'm gonna give it to him to add to his collection." Boone fingered it in his pocket, taking it out and running it through his fingers. "Wait, I think that it likes it better in my pocket. After all, why not? Why shouldn't I keep it?"

"Boone, I think you should leave the Pebble behind. Is that so hard?"

"No." He paused. "And yes. Now that it comes to it, I don't feel like parting with it. I found it, it came to me!"

Locke cocked one eyebrow higher than the other. "There's no need to get angry."

"Well if I'm angry it's your fault!" He looked back down at the red stone in his hand. "It's mine, my own. My precious."

The old yet young man gasped. "It's been called that before, but not by you."

"What business is it of yours what I do with my own things?" Boone whirled around to face him. "You just want it for yourself!"

Locke smiled his freaky grin. "You're right! Give it to me!" He lunged at Boone, grasping for the pebble.

"No, get off me you old geezer! There's no way that I'm giving you the Magic Pebble!" He looked down at the stone. "Make Locke stop fighting me."

At that moment, a dazed Claire walked into the clearing. Locke stood, brushing himself off. "Claire? Are you all right?"

She turned to face them, her blue eyes glazed as if unseeing. She put on hand on her head. "Nothing. No view. There was nothing." She pointed at Locke. "It was like that, only worse."

"Claire, wait!" Charlie rushed in from behind her, putting a guiding hand on her shoulder. He was wearing one of her hats. "Oh, hey guys. I think Claire needs to lie down and rest."

Locke nodded. "Get her back to the caves and give her some water." He turned around as the two left, surprised to see that Boone was gone.

TBC...

Look forward to the next task and that drastic break-up between Shannon and Jin that we have all been waiting for!

Imzadi: Kate's probably planning even more activities. I really think that she should start some kind of a game show. And you're on the right track with "what's under Charlie's hate" (hmm...that could be the name of her show!).

non-damsel: LOL I'm glad that you like it. "Lost" is such a serious show that it's fun to give it some humor. And yup, Kate's so enjoying herself! I hope that you liked this chapter.

lordoftheringsfanficreader: I know what you mean about the battery lol. Yup. I'm planning that death...It will be funny. In fact, Boone is going to be singing at the time. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter lol.


	16. Poor Shannon & a New Contestant

**a/n**: Heya, everyone, I'm back! Sorry, sorry; I know I haven't updated in over a month. I'm bad, okay? But, nonetheless, here I am (I also have a PotC chapter in the works, just fyi). Anyway, thanks for all of the reviews. Unfortunately, I don't have time to respond to them right now, but I will be able to come...June! Duh-duh-DUH!

Please keep up with them though; they're great and they mean a lot to me. Sniffle. :brush away imaginary tear:

Please enjoy!

Romen

**Disclaimer**: nothing is mine, and I do not own the lyrics or anything associated with the song "Another Suitcase in Another Hall". It just belongs to someone else.

**16. Poor Shannon & a New Contestant**

"Oooooooooo, Mr. Sawyer I just know that I'm gonna win this contest!" Walt sang, continuing his dance.

"Calm down, child!" Sawyer exclaimed, flushing as Jack sniggered at him. "That was a ten character 'oo'!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Sawyer." The kid became still. "I just know that I'm"-

"'Gonna win this contest'. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know." The red neck rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as Boone rushed into the clearing, looking flustered. "What's the matter, Moneybags? Boar chasing you?"

Boone's eyes narrowed, and the atmosphere suddenly became very heavy, and the sky very dark. A fork of lightning flashed through the inky blackness (and there was some creepy choral music playing somewhere, too). Everyone in the audience glanced at the yuppie warily.

"You think you're so clever," he growled, his voice guttural. "Someday you'll see who really has the power around here."

"Oooooooooo, Mr. Sawyer, he's scary!" Walt breathed. "Stop that, Little B.! You're freaking me out!"

The phenomenon ended as soon as it had begun, as if on command from Walt. In fact, some people simply believed that they had just imagined it (but it did have lasting affects; Sawyer actually shut-up for a minute).

At that moment, Kate entered the clearing with Locke, except she was being carried on a palanquin fashioned from bamboo and adorned with fancy cloth and other finery. Dott and Steve (who were the ones carrying it) gently set her down. Boone rushed over to her side, looking worried.

"Katherine darling, how doth thee fare?" He stroked her cheek lovingly.

"Wow, Boone! You should talk like that all the time! Now, about the Second Task..." She cleared her throat, pushing all of the pillows away from her and stumbling off of the palanquin uneasily. However, Boone was there to catch her before she fell (suck-up). She blushed. "Thank you dear. Now, where was I..."

"The Second Task?" Locke hinted helpfully, standing very far away from Boone.

"Oh, yeah! The Second Task!" She grinned, going over to the makeshift table and gently setting her haliburton down on the surface (she loved that thing like it was a pet dog). "Well, you already know what it is. Now I guess we should go over the rules..."

"Walt! WALT!"

Kate cocked her head to the side. "That sounds like Michael, searching for Walt because he found out that he joined the contest without his father's permission."

"Oh, **:profane word:**," Walt muttered, running to hide behind Sawyer.

Locke gasped. "Walt! You just said a bad word!"

"Mr. Sawyer taught me all about bad words," Walt explained. "They're not bad unless you say them in front of your parents."

Before Sawyer could defend himself, Michael burst into the clearing, his face as red as the red shirts that Boone and Locke used in "All the Cowboys Have Daddy Issues" to help them find their way back to the caves.

"What did I tell you about joining this contest?" Michael's eyes widened threateningly as Walt looked down at his feet. "You are too young for this sort of thing."

Walt paused before looking up at his father. "Mr. Sawyer said I could," he replied coolly, pointing at the convicted for emphasis.

"Now just wait one minizzle," Sawyer said quickly, coming out of character as Michael rounded on him.

"What gives you the right to tell my son what he can and can't do?"

Sawyer rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, Daddy; it isn't like he's gonna win..."

"I am gonna win!" Walt protested. "Oooooooooo I just know that I'm gonna win this contest, Mr. Sawyer! You just wait and see! I'm gonna be in first place!"

Michael pushed his son out of the way, accidentally knocking him over but not noticing it in his rage. "This doesn't concern you Walt. You're already out of the contest. But 'Mr. Sawyer' here needs to learn that he just can't get off with getting my son to undermine my rules."

The red-neck scowled. "Listen, I didn't even know that he wasn't supposed to join the contest..."

"You wanna take this outside?"

Kate, annoyed that her contest was being stalled due to their dispute, couldn't help but make an interjection. "I think you _are_ outside. Anyway, Michael, it's too late now. Once you join Kate's Contest, you can't back out."

"Can you not speak in third person?" Michael cried. "It's really irritating! And what do you mean, you can't back out?"

"I'm not speaking in third person; that's what it called. Didn't you read **Chapter 12: The First Task**!"

"Calm down, love," Boone said soothingly. "I'll take care of this for you."

But Kate was a woman on a mission, and she was offended that Michael would dare to put her contest on hold. "There's no way I'm letting Walt drop out of this contest! So if you want to keep an eye on your kid, then you're just going to have to join yourself!"

Michael hesitated before shouting, "Well then I guess I will!" He stomped over towards the others, thrusting his chin out defiantly.

Kate clapped her hands, deserting all negative feelings and happy to have another contestant. "Good for you, Michael!"

"That's no fair!" Jack whined. "He doesn't have to do the First Task..."

Kate banged her gavel on the haliburton, bringing order back to the contestants and the audience, who was a bit disheveled. "Pipe down, will ya?" She regained her composure. "Anyway, let's get back to business..."

Meanwhile, back at the caves...

Shannon heaved a sigh, looking about desperately. "Jin! JIN!"

"Oh, hey...Shannon." Hurley glanced at her sideways. He didn't really like Shannon. "Are you looking for Jin?"

"Yes, I can't find him anywhere. Do you know where he is?" she added hopefully.

Hurley bit his lip. "Sorry, Shannon, but...he told me to give you a message."

"You speak Korean?" Shannon asked incredulously.

"No, but all men speak a common language with which we are able to communicate."

"What? Beating on your chest and grunting?"

"Of course not," Hurley snapped, wondering how she knew about the secret code of males. "But that's not the point. The point is that he wanted me to give you a message."

"Well, spit it out!" she shrieked. "I wanna watch the next contest!"

"Okay, okay." He paused. "He said...that he broke up with you."

Shannon gasped. "No! No! This can't be! We're in love with each other!"

Hurley shrugged. "I guess it was just a one-sided romance, Shannon." He gave her a soft pat on the shoulder before walking away. "Sorry. I gotta go. I want to get a good seat for the Second Task!"

She watched his back disappear into the jungle before slowly pitting on her heel, listening as Charlie began to play a melody on his guitar. As if on cue, she began to sing.

"I don't expect my love affairs to last for long!" She wandered over to the side of the cave. "Never fool myself that my dreams will come true. Being used to trouble I anticipated, but all the same I hated, wouldn't you? So what happens now?"

"Another suitcase in another hall," Charlie couldn't help but put in.

"So what happens now?"

"Another suitcase in another hall," he repeated, still wearing that same goofy hat.

"Where am I going to? Where am I going to?" She allowed Charlie to play the chorus before sitting down dejectedly next to Vincent who flopped on top of her lap immediately. "Time and time again I've said that I don't care. That I'm immune to gloom, that I'm hard through and through. But every time it matters all my words desert me, so anyone can hurt me, and they do. So what happens now?"

"Another suitcase in another hall!" Charlie sang as Vincent howled mournfully.

"So what happens now?"

"Another suitcase in another hall!" Charlie and a howl from Vincent.

"Where am I going to?"

"You'll get by you always have before."

"Where am I going to?"

As she stopped once again for the chorus, Claire waddled in with Sun trailing along. They observed Shannon pityingly. She turned her face towards them, her eyes tear filled.

"Call in three months time and I'll be fine, I know," she assured them. "Well maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow. I won't recall the names and places of each sad occasion, but that's no consolation here and now. So what happens now?"

"Another suitcase in another hall," Claire and Sun sang in unison.

"So what happens now?"

"Another suitcase in another hall."

"Where am I going to?"

"You'll get by, you always have before."

"Where am I going to?"

At that very moment, Sayid was at the top of the giant loop. He looked down and saw Shannon. "DON'T ASK ANY MOOOOOORRRRRREE!" He cried, just as they flew downwards.

Shannon's ears perked as Charlie stopped strumming abruptly. "What was that?" he wondered aloud.

Shannon shrugged, pushing Vincent off of her and standing. "I don't know. But let's go to the clearing! I don't want to miss the Second Task!"

Thus they hurried off together (and Charlie was still mysteriously wearing that ridiculous looking hat).

**TBC...**

Don't worry; the Second Task starts again in the next chapter. Again, I apologize for the super late update (you poor PotC fans; I have to finish that chapter!). This may be the last update for a while, but don't worry; I'll keep writing on this story. I can't stop!

Anyway, if some of you didn't understand the whole singing thing... That's a song from "Evita". But wasn't it very appropriate it for Shannon? Yes? No? Tell me in your reviews.

Romen


	17. The Second Task

**a/n**: I'm back with the next chapter! Please keep up with the reviews! I love them, love them.

Two points to the reviewer who guesses my top two fav characters (even though I love them all)!

Romen

**Disclaimer**: nothing is mine

**17. The Second Task**

Shannon, Charlie, Sun and Claire settled down next to Hurley, who was sitting next to Arzt on a beach towel.

"Hey, you made it!" Hurley exclaimed. He gestured towards an empty jar he was holding. "Want some peanut butter?"

Claire shook her head. "No, I only take extra smooth and creamy."

"Suit yourself. Charlie, dude, why are you wearing that hat?"

Charlie looked confused. "Hat? What hat? Oh, you mean this hat. Just trying to protect myself from the sun."

"Oh, okay." He nodded in understanding. "But if you want an, erm, uh, more...masculine looking hat I think Sawyer might have a few that he'll trade you for."

"Oh, I think that one looks fine." Claire looked at Sun, tugging on her ear. "It looks fine, Charlie."

Hurley glanced back and forth between the two women, trying to figure out if there had been some kind of exchange. "Uh...are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She scratched the back of her head, tossing Sun a wink. "Real fine."

Before Hurley had time to ask, the sound of Kate banging on the haliburton with the gavel silenced the crowd. The woman cleared her throat, giving them all a charming smile.

"Now," she began, "how long you are able to hang on will be added to your score. For instance, if someone...let's say, Walt, is only able to hang on for five minutes, the score of 5.00 points would be added to what he already has."

"Is there a time limit? Because I have something to do already."

Kate was liking Michael less and less as time went by. She frowned. "The time limit depends on your own strength. Now, any other questions? Yes, Sawyer."

"Are we allowed any time for breaks?"

She shook her head. "No, that would make you lose momentum. Anyone else? Walt?"

"Yeah, do we get to play a game after this or go to the bathroom? Because I gotta go." The kid danced around vigorously.

She blinked. "Uh...I don't know. Anyone else have anything they need cleared up? No? Okay, John, why don't you take it from here."

Locke stepped forward into the clearing, just as his infamous theme music began to play (you all know what I'm talking about; every time he's around or something freaky happens it plays). He crossed his arms, shifting his weight as he gave them a dire stare.

"I'll time you with this stop watch that Sayid left behind," he explained. "When you can't hold on any longer, just drop to the ground and step over to the side. Kate will be recording the times. I will shout them out each time someone drops out...literally."

His eyes wandered over to Boone. "And cheating is not allowed."

A small, "Oooooooooh," passed over the crowd as Locke sat down in one of the chairs that had been lugged out there. (The freaky music was still playing. If anything, it was getting more intense!)

"When I say go," the old-yet-young-man continued, "reach up and grab the branch nearest you. On your mark, get set..." He coughed into the back of his hand. "Sorry. Go."

They all scrambled madly for a branch. Walt hung from one just below Sawyer's, as Michael reached for the same one that Jack was holding. Boone seemed to find a branch quite easily. In fact, Shannon was wondering if it had even been there before...

Time passed slowly. Fifteen minutes. Sixteen. Seventeen. The crowd was deathly quiet. Sawyer was getting very red in the face as Walt swung back and forth. Jack and Michael seemed stressed, but Boone looked perfectly fine.

"Wow, your face is so red, Mr. Sawyer!" Walt exclaimed. "It's like a tomato! It's like ketchup! It's like a red hot chili pepper! It's like"-

"I get the picture," Sawyer snapped, shooting Walt a glare.

Walt's face grew serious. "It's like...blood."

"Cut that out!" The red-neck bristled. "You're just trying to distract me!"

"Are you accusing my son of cheating?" Michael cocked one eyebrow higher than the other.

"Maybe I am," Sawyer challenged.

"I'm getting sick and tired of you messing with my boy," the raft-builder continued, _his_ face now growing red. "You need to learn to mind your own business."

"Wow, Dad!" Walt breathed. "Your face is so red! It's like a tomato! It's like ketchup! It's like a red hot chili pepper! It's like...blood."

Sawyer grunted, his fists clenching around the branch tightly. Walt took notice.

"Don't worry Mr. Sawyer. I know that you can hang on," he reassured him. "You're the strongest wimpy person I've ever met."

I suppose that just did Sawyer in. It was too much for his weary brain to handle. In a flash, he swung his body in the child's direction. The impact made Walt swing back and forth like a little pendulum.

"What do you think you're doing!" Michael cried. "You're cheating!"

"I'm not cheating!" Sawyer protested. "It was an accident! Sorry, short-round."

"Oh really? Then I guess that _this_ isn't cheating either!" Michael pried a loose chunk of bark from the tree and threw it at Sawyer's head. The red-neck barely managed to duck it. "Sorry. My mistake."

"Guys, guys, calm down!" Jack intercepted. "We're grown men and one boy here. This isn't any way for us to behave."

"This doesn't concern you!" Michael shouted, letting go with one hand and pounding on Jack's knuckles.

"Wow, this is crazy," Charlie breathed in the audience, squinting. "It's more entertaining than WWE!"

"You watch WWE?" Claire asked incredulously. "I didn't know that." She grinned, rubbing her hands together. "I can't wait until The Cage of Pain this spring! It's gonna be insane!"

"Hey, do you guys notice anything weird about Boone?" Hurley asked, cocking his head to the side.

Shannon threw her hands in the air. "I've been saying that for years!"

"No, I mean, like, do you notice anything weird about him right _now_?"

Charlie paused thoughtfully. "He's very still."

"Yeah, but look at his hands." Hurley pointed with his finger. "If you look really closely, you'll see that it looks like..."

"They're moving!" Claire frowned. "But, that can't be."

Hurley chewed on this for a moment. "Maybe he found a Magic Pebble, and he's using the Pebble to stop time so he can get off of the tree and relax when he needs to, and then get back on again when he starts time again."

Shannon rolled her eyes. "I should have known that something was wrong with you when you were eating the invisible peanut butter."

"It's not invisible," Claire protested, lifting the jar and licking her lips. "It's real."

Charlie nodded in agreement. "It's the best bloody peanut better I've ever tasted."

Shannon scooted closer to Sun. "Okay."

At that moment, Walt dropped to the ground with a small _plop_. He snapped his fingers as Locke shouted out, "19.45!"

All of the Walties roared. Claire and Sun held up a banner they had made that said, "Walt, Walt, he's our kid! If he can't do it, we lose our bid!"

Walt went over to the side, beginning to pancake to his favorite song. "I'm a nice dude, with some nice dreams!" he cried. "See these ice cubes, see these ice creams?"

"Walt!" Michael shouted, as Kate regained order with her gavel. "You will not rap that song!"

"Okay." Walt dejectedly plopped down on the ground, heaving a sigh.

Shortly after this uprising, Sawyer let go. He crossed his arms, facing the audience.

"21.32!"

"Ain't any of you gonna say anything?" he shouted.

There was a loud roar of mirth. Sawyer thrust his chin out, feeling proud. "Now don't cry," he began, but he was interrupted by Locke.

"21.48!"

The red-neck whirled around, dismayed to see that the reaction was not for himself; but for Jack.

"This just sucks," he muttered under his breath, going over to sit by Walt. "Nobody cares if I win or lose."

Walt patted him on the back. "Don't worry Mr. Sawyer. You're the most noticed ignored person I know."

Before Sawyer could reply, Jack came over. He shook his head. "This sucks. We were the first ones to claim Kate's heart. Boone wasn't."

"And Michael isn't even trying to win!" the hillbilly exclaimed. "There's something funny going on."

At that moment, Michael dropped. Shannon and Hurley held up a sign: "Michael, Michael, he's our man! He joined the contest so watch his son, he can!" (Shannon did admit that it sounded a bit like Yodah-grammar, if you know what I mean)

"23.05!"

Shortly afterward, Boone fell (23.10). Surprisingly, all of the women swayed (Claire actually fainted a little).

"He looks so...cute!" Shannon breathed, squinting.

"Oooh, and debonair!" Claire added. "Kate is so lucky to have a guy like that competing for her."

"And muscular!"

"And the way the sun glints off of his hair..."

"You really think so? I think he's ugly." Charlie scowled. He wished the sunlight would glint off his hair.

Kate cleared her throat. "All right. We'll all come back here in about fifteen minutes for the results and the description of the Third Task."

TBC...

Heheh, the long awaited Second Task! So what did you think? Worth the wait?

Please review!

Romen


	18. The Roller Coaster Ends!

**a/n**: Hey all! Back with another chapter! I meant to update sooner, but I was out of town for a few days. Now I'm back!  
My two fav characters happen to Kate and Walt. Hence I was very upset when Walt got kidnapped (I hate to admit it, but I cried!). Who else enjoyed the finale? I want more "Lost"! Now!

Please keep up with the reviews; I truly enjoy them!  
Romen

**Disclaimer**: nothing is mine

**18.** **The Roller Coaster Ends!**

Sayid stumbled forward, collapsing on a hard bunk with a sigh of relief. "It feels so good to be on solid ground again!"

Michael Jack's Son nodded in agreement. "I know; it's a good thing that Wanda happened to be passing by!"

Wanda was the pop star's pet capuchin monkey, who had accidentally turned off the roller coaster just as they slid to the bottom.

Sayid pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Michael, why do you wear only one glove?"

"Huh? Oh, this old thing? Because it's all the rage on Sploik!"

Sayid cocked his head to the side. "Sploik?"

"Sploik is the planet where my alien friends come from," Michael explained. "When they first abducted me, they taught me all about their customs. While I've been stranded here during their experiment, I've put together a book that I plan to publish once it ends!" He lifted a very thick stack of papers, grinning.

"How...interesting..." Sayid tried to sound enthusiastic. Frankly he just thought Michael had ridden that roller coaster a little too many times, if you know what I mean. "I'm sure it will be a best-seller."

"It's my account of my stay with the Sploikions," Michael Jack's Son continued promptly. "Would you like to here it?"

Sayid shook his head hurriedly. "No, please! No!" (Manners are forgotten after you have ridden a roller coaster for many, many, hours)

"Okay dude, that's cool. Don't worry about it. I think I'm going to edit it for a while though, if you don't mind."

"Go ahead!" 'Yey!' Sayid thought to himself shrewdly. 'Now he'll have something to preoccupy him, and I won't have to listen to him run at the mouth!'

Michael slipped on a pair of dignified looking reading glasses, bending over the memoirs. "'Chapter one,'" he mumbled to himself. "'The Aliens Abduct Me.'"

Sayid's eyes flew wide with horror. You see, Michael Jack's Son was one of those people who couldn't read silently to themselves; a faze the many young children go through. He just had never grown out of it.

It seemed that Sayid was going to be hearing those memoirs whether he liked it or not.

Meanwhile, back in the clearing...

Shannon set down three cards. "Three fours!" she cried out happily.

Claire chewed on her lip. "BS."

"Nope! Look, they're all jokers!" She held up the cards as she shoved the stack toward the mother-to-be.

"Wait a minute." Hurley took the cards from Shannon. "There are only two jokers in every deck. Shannon, these are Jacks."

"Jack doesn't own a deck of cards!"

Hurley was just about to explain the rules of BS again before the now familiar sound of the banging gavel drew their attention. They turned to face Kate as the contestants assembled.

She smiled serenely, holding up a small notebook. "Thank you. I am now going to read out the current scores to you.

"Walt; last time, you had a 7.9. You now have 27.25!"

The crowd roared as Walt did a cartwheel, accidentally running into Locke and knocking the poor man off his feet. The kid hastily helped him up.

Kate cleared her throat, trying to ignore the little incident. "Jack, your score for the First Task was 5.2. You now reign in at 26.68!"

Jack nodded at his fans, a very small, diligent group who sat the back of the crowd. He was just behind Walt! (He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing)

"Sawyer, your score is 21.32!"

"Uh-huh! Take that!" He pointed accusingly at the audience. "You think I can't win this contest? You just wait! I'll be taking home the gold metal! What are you looking at, boy?"

Charlie looked around. "What? Who is he talking to you?"

"I'm talking to you, son! Yeah, that's right!"

"Okay, enough." Locke shoved Sawyer over to stand next to Walt and Jack, who had moved over to the other side of the table.

"Boone, you used to have 9.5. You now have 32.55!"

Sawyer and Jack gaped. As Boone moved forward, one of the women actually lunged at him, trying to tear off a piece of his shirt. Shannon shoved her off angrily.

"I had him first! That's not fair!"

"Ladies, ladies, please!" Locke blocked Boone from their reach and helped him arrive at his destination safely.

"I didn't even get his autograph!" Claire sobbed as Sun patted her consolingly on the back.

"Phew!" Boone wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, grinning cheekily at his fellow contestants. "I'm sure you know how the feminine public can be at times..."

Sawyer's eyes narrowed. "You just watch yourself, Little B., 'cause someday, that big mouth of yours is going to get you in a lot of trouble!"

"Is that a threat?" Boone asked challengingly.

Before Sawyer could reply, Kate was banging her gavel harder than ever, looking flustered. "Order! Order! STOP TALKING!" A cricket chirped as everyone grew still. "Thank you. Now, Michael, since you did not compete in the First Task, we are going to use the average as your score to make it a fair game. Locke, would you please give me the numbers?"

Locke nodded. "The average for the First Task was 5.65, so you have a score of 28.7!"

Jack gritted his teeth. "This isn't right. He's not even in it for Kate."

Boone nodded in agreement. "He's just toying with her heart!"

Kate beamed at them. "Boone is now in the lead with 32.55, and Sawyer falls in last place with 21.32!"

"Mr. Sawyer isn't going to be in last place for long!" Walt informed them, patting the red-neck on the back. "Why, he's the most creative boring person I know!"

Kate shrugged. "Whatever you say. Anyway, the next task is..."

Meanwhile, back in the jungle...

"'These Splokions are the most intelligent beings I've ever met. They have a wonderful ear for music, and while I'm stuck on this island, my records sell for ridiculously high prices! Soon I will be shooting a music video there and I will become an even larger icon among Sploikion giants.'"

"Someone," Sayid breathed, "anyone, please, help me!"

TBC...


	19. The Third Task

**a/n**: Sorry for the slow update! Anyway, thanks again for all of the wonderful reviews. Please keep up with them!

And, as always, enjoy.

Romen

**Disclaimer**: unfamiliar; mine. Familiar; not mine.

**19. The Third Task**

Kate was about to name the Third Task and save everyone a lot of anxiety and suspense when they were suddenly interrupted.

"Hey!" Boone cried, examining his snazzy little electronic planner. "Tomorrow's Independence Day!"

Sawyer frowned. "I don't see how that's relevant. We're on an uncharted island."

"Besides, the U.K. and Australia don't recognize the fourth of July as a holiday," Charlie couldn't help but point out with encouraging nods from Claire.

"Oooooh, I like the fourth of July, Mr. Sawyer!" Walt smiled, his eyes wide. "You get to throw those little things on the ground that pop, and shoot bottle rockets off in the sky, and see biiiiiiiig fireworks in all kinds of cool colors and designs!"

Kate cleared her throat. "Excuse me, but if it's not even until tomorrow, why are we all worried about it?"

There was a beat of silence before Shannon stood. "Because it's an important holiday! It's the day of our freedom!"

Hurley interrupted. He just wanted to get the matter settled so they could continue with the contest. "Technically, that really wasn't the day America gained it's freedom, Shannon..."

"No, but it's the day that Will Smith helped get rid of the aliens that invaded Earth!" Shannon insisted. "It's celebrated by tanning and getting a massage at the spa and soaking in the hot tub. We should all be thankful!"

Walt blinked. "Wow, Mr. Sawyer; and I thought you were the only stupid smart person on the island."

Kate banged her gavel even though no one was being loud. She just liked doing it. "Hey, hey! Let's not forget why we're all here today!"

Michael frowned. "Why are we here?"

"For the announcing of the Third Task!" She massaged her temples with a scowl. Michael was really getting on her nerves. "Anyway, where was I? Oh yes- the Third Task.

"This task shall be a test of your wit, skill, and cunning," she continued, one finger thrust in the air. "It shall also test your speed and ability to blend in with your surroundings. Locke, would you take it from here?"

Locke stepped forward, looking very general-like. "As you can see, there are five of you. For this next task, you will need to be on teams. This task will challenge your ability to work with others. However, since you are an odd number, someone is going to have to work alone. To figure this out, you will have to draw straws." He was clutching a bundle of straws in his fist. Jack drew first, then Sawyer, Michael, Walt, and Boone followed. "Who has the shortest?"

"Me!" Boone waved his straw, which was no more than a stub, in the air.

Claire frowned. "That looks suspicious..."

But she had no more time to say anything else. For at that moment, Kate held up a top hat. "In this hat-"

"Hey, where'd you get that cool hat?" Walt interrupted. "That's a magician's hat, isn't it? Are you going to pull a rabbit out of that hat? 'Cause my Mom said-"

"IN THIS HAT," Kate began again loudly, "are four strips of paper. The people with the two longest straws will draw one of these slips. Whoever's name is on the strip you draw is your partner. Boone's name is no longer in the hat."

"If you draw your own name, does that mean you get to work alone?" Sawyer asked hopefully.

"No. Who has the longest straws?"

It turned out that Walt and Jack had the two longest straws. Jack, being the gracious, gentlemanly doctor that he is, let Walt, being the rambunctious and rebellious child that he is, draw first.

The kid rummaged around the hat, his face contorted, before he finally pulled out a strip. "Wow, Mr. Sawyer! We get to be partners!"

Sawyer moaned. "Why me?"

Jack turned to Michael. "I guess that leaves you and me."

Kate flexed her fingers. "Now, John, would you mind explaining the rest of the task?"

"Of course not." He crossed his arms and made that weird face he does when he's concentrating. "Now, Sun has been kind enough to put together a list of various items that can be found around the island, using blank paper she found in someone's luggage and an old type writer that was discovered out in the jungle."

"I thought Sun didn't know English?" Charlie hissed into Hurley's ear, who shrugged.

"There is one list for each pair," Locke explained, handing Boone, Sawyer, and Michael a piece of paper. "You must find the items on this list. Whoever finds all of the items and reports back here first wins!"

Michael frowned. "So, it's like a scavenger hunt?"

"Exactly."

"'One shoe (not your own), two coconuts, one passport (not your own), one candy bar, one hat'," Walt read aloud. "I just know that we can find all of this stuff, Mr. Sawyer!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Sawyer was planning on ditching the kid once they got the candy bar.

"All right." Kate held up a whistle. "When I blow this, go!" She promptly blew it.

Everyone scrambled in different directions as the audience went wild.

Meanwhile, back out in the jungle...

"So are you going to finish chronicling the rest of your stay?" Sayid asked, just trying to create conversation.

Michael Jack's Son sighed. "I've been keeping notes in a notebook, but I haven't been able to type up my account. Somebody stole my type writer! I bet it was that crazy French chick..."

Sayid had a sudden idea. "Michael, if you let me go, I will find that type-writer and bring it back to you."

"NO!" The deluded pop star whirled around. "I can't let you go!"

"And why not!"

"Because we haven't gotten to play a Scrabble yet!" He pulled out the game board with a grin. "Wanna play?"

It looked like Sayid was going to need all of the cleverness he had if he was going to escape...

**TBC...**


	20. Scavenger Hunt

**a/n**: Sorry for the super slow update. I got back from a vacation in July, and I was really worn out from that (it was more like a conference). I'll try to update again this week!

Again, thank you so much for the reviews. I appreciate every one of them. Please keep them up!

Enjoy!

Romen

**Disclaimer**: Unfamiliar; mine. Familiar; not mine.

**Chapter 20**

**Scavenger Hunt**

"So, what are we going to find first, Mr. Sawyer?" Walt asked, trotting along beside the red-neck.

"I don't know..." Sawyer knocked on a tree four times, his head tilted to the side thoughtfully. "Oh yeah; five paces..."

"I think we should find the candy bar last," Walt continued undauntedly. "It'll get all melty out in this heat."

"Listen." Sawyer put out an arm, stopping Walt from walking forward. "We're going to go to a very secret place. I don't want you to tell anyone how to get here."

"Don't worry, I won't." The kid put his hand over his heart. "I'm so good at keeping secrets. Once Billie Bob Jones beat me up because he wanted me to tell him a secret about my best-friend, but I didn't tell him 'cause I'm so good at keeping secrets. And then-"

Sawyer interrupted him. "Good, because if you tell anyone, I'll make sure you won't be sharing any more of my secrets."

Walt smiled. "Okay, Mr. Sawyer! Now where is it that we're going?"

Sawyer grinned. "My Secret Stash, son." They had stopped in front of a large rock that sat upon a conspicuous looking make-shift board (Walt suspected that Sawyer had nailed together planks of wood that were, for some reason, on the plane). Sawyer pushed the rock aside and pulled open the board. They were faced with a metal safe. Sawyer mumbled under his breath as he spun the lock, sighing when he heard a satisfying _click_. He pulled open the door.

Walt gasped. "Wow Mr. Sawyer! We have everything here that we need! Passports, candy, hats, shoes..." He frowned. "It's too bad that the passport and shoe can't belong to us."

"Passports ain't mine, kiddo." Sawyer flipped through one with a reluctant scowl. "Hate to give this one up, but oh well. It isn't like there aren't more where this came from." He shoved it in his pocket.

"We can't use those shoes, Mr. Sawyer."

Sawyer shot him a glare. "And why not?"

"Because the shoe can't belong to us." Walt crossed his arms.

"Like I said, Snoopy, the shoe doesn't belong to me, it doesn't belong to you. I found it on the beach when we got here." He picked up the ratty loafer. "This one will do just fine."

"No. It belongs to you now, so we can't use it."

Sawyer stood, towering over Walt. "We're going to use thi-"

But before he could finish, the shoe burst into flame.

"Holy Mother of- Gracious!" He dropped it, standing back.

Walt's eyes narrowed cryptically. "I told you," he growled in a low voice, "we're not using that shoe."

Sawyer nodded. "Uh- sure, yeah, whatever you want. Let me grab the candy and hat while we're here..."

Meanwhile, back in Forever Land...

"Yay!" Michael Jack's Son clapped his hands. "I win! Want to play again?"

"Er- not really." Sayid pretended to look thoughtful, then snapped his fingers. "I have an idea Michael! An idea for a really fun game."

"Come on, dude, spill!"

Sayid leaned forward. "Have you ever heard of a game called Simon Says?"

"Of course. I used to play it with my polar bear, Janet, God bless her, all the time. It was her favorite game." He dabbed at his eyes with his lacey fuchsia handkerchief. "Anyway, continue."

"Well, I was thinking that we could play this for a while."

"Sure! How about I be Simon first?"

Sayid grimaced. "Um, I was thinking that I could go first-"

"All right, cool. Now..." Michael stood. "Simon says, get out of your chair."

Sayid obeyed.

"Simon says-- do jumping jacks!"

Sayid started jumping.

"Simon says- stop!"

Sayid stopped with a sigh.

"Simon says-- pull on your ears."

Sayid couldn't help but think that another plan had failed.

Meanwhile, back on the beach...

"Here, this is a good spot." Charlie set his towel down in the shade, Claire, Hurley, Sun, and Shannon following suit. "Pretty soon the contestants will be out here, scavengering!"

Claire clapped her hands. "Oh, it's so exciting, isn't it, Sun? Oh wait- you don't know English." She winked.

"Look!" Shannon pointed. "Here they come!"

At that moment, Boone, Michael and Jack appeared over the horizon. Jack had a backpack slung over his shoulder, Michael walking beside him.

"Hey." Jack stopped beside them, smiling. "How's it going?"

"Dude, you so deserved extra points during the first task." Hurley shook his head. "You were robbed."

"Well, that's life." His eyes rested on Charlie. "Listen, would you mind doing me a favor?"

Charlie smiled, feeling important. "Sure, anything to help!"

"Can I have your hat?"

His face fell. He put one hand on his head protectively. "Actually, I can do anything but that..."

Michael ran over. "Charlie, am I glad to see you! Hey, can we borrow your hat?"

Charlie frowned. "I was just telling Jack that my hat is not for borrowing..."

Shannon scowled. "Just give them the hat. Maybe they'll even autograph it for us."

"No one is getting my hat!"

While they all debated, Hurley merely plucked the hat off of Charlie's head and handed it to Michael.

They all fell silent.

Jack snorted. "Um, Charlie- your, your hair..."

Charlie pulled the hood of his jacket up over his head. "Yeah, I know, I'm bald. Now get back to your search. You're running out of time."

Michael squinted at him, pulling the hood down. "How did _that_ happen?"

Claire gasped. "Oh, did that lotion make your hair fall out?"

Hurley struggled not to laugh. "What lotion?"

"For dry skin," Claire happily informed him. "Did you know that 75 percent of a man's dry skin is on his scalp?"

Jack scratched his head. "I don't remember hearing that at med school..."

"It's a fairly new statistic," Charlie grumbled. He stood. "I'll be right back..."

He wandered off in the jungle, muttering about 'baldness' and 'receding hairlines', when he felt someone tap him on the back.

It was Boone. "I couldn't help noticing your hair problem."

"What do you want?" Charlie sneered.

Boone smiled wryly. "What would you say if I could help you get your hair back?"

"I'm not in to those get-hair-quick-schemes," Charlie explained patiently. "My Uncle tried that once. His whole head was blue. It still is. So I'll just wait for it to grow back on its own, thank you very much."

"No, for real." Boone glanced about him, then reached into his pocket. "What if I could help it grow back by magic?"

Charlie chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment. "Are you insane?"

"No, really." Boone put the pebble in the palm of his hand. "I want to have an ice cream cone, for free."

An ice cream appeared in his hand. In a cone, by the way.

"Goodness! Are you saying that could help my hair grow back!"

"Exactly. But there's something I want you to do for me first..."

TBC...


End file.
